3 cheers for sweet revenge one more for badluck
by YouWereTheFirstLove
Summary: evie has to struggle through life until mcr come and change her life forever
1. Chapter 1

My name is Evie, i have an average life, a mum who couldn't really care any less about me, a step dad who never has and never will show emotions, an older sister who cares about nothing more than having sex with her boyfriend and using people whom she should love in order to get what she wants, and then there is my baby brother, so cute, so sweet but he doesn't have a clue what life is really like because to him, life so far is just having everybody's attention on him, getting fed and making sure he takes his daily afternoon nap. He is unaware that as he grows up he will realise how different life really is to how he sees it now. Life is so easy for him but that is simply because it isn't life, life doesn't really start until you understand it but no one can ever fully understand the concept or meaning of life so really we are all dead inside.

Which is how i feel anyway but i have taught myself to ignore and escape the real world by creating my own world in my head, its happy, it's easy and there is never any sight of my real family, in this life there is no such thing as family because family only causes upset and regret. In this life, people live and work on their own, they don't care about anyone else but this isn't because they are arrogant snobs it is because there is no one to care about. All problems and misery in life start with just two things, these are family and love, these are also the two things in life that are most easily lost, it only takes words, actions and mistakes for all happiness to turn into sadness and disbelief, that is why in my world there is no family and no love.

Yes, it does get lonely, but loneliness is better than grief and loss. I only live in my own world some of the time though that's because i have to live in the real world the rest of the time to keep whatever sanity i have.

One day, in the real world this is, i woke up and was laying in bed staring at my MCR calendar wondering what on earth i was going to do because it was a Saturday and that meant my mum would be at work my sister would be at her boyfriends and my step dad would take my baby brother to my step Nan's house so he could get some gardening done for her and so my Nan could see her one and only grandson. Which only left me, my best friend was on holiday and my boyfriend always had some excuse for not hanging out with me. I decided to get dressed as i had nothing else to do so i went to my messy dark wardrobe and pulled out my MCR top and my bullet for my valentine hoody, i grabbed a pair of black jeans and my dark purple converse and got changed into it, i walked over to my desk and picked up some skull earrings and a big handful of black gummy bracelets and then walked up to my mirror i applied my overload of eyeliner and walked out the door. I got to the hall and not knowing what i was going to do decided to "borrow" some money from my sisters money box then i sat on the top step of the stairs, i pilled my phone out of my pocket and went onto create text message then i texted my boyfriend:

'Hiya im bored so im coming ur house, if ur not ther den i wil go into town nd w8 4 u by da water fountin no excuses if u don't meet me ur dumped'

It sounded harsh but i hadn't seen him in ages because he just stayed at his mates all the time, he saw them more than he saw me!

I carried on down the stairs putting my phone securely in my pocket and went into the kitchen; i wasn't feeling hungry so i got a cup of coffee and a couple of digestive biscuits to dunk in it before starting my journey to my boyfriend's house.

When i got there it looked lifeless there were no lights on and no sound coming from the house i knocked on the door but there was no answer so i walked up to the window but i couldn't see anyone in there. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone i texted my boyfriend again

Hey im at ur house but der aint ne1 home so im goin town memba wata fountin i wont w8 4 long

I put my phone back in my pocket and left his house to head into town.

Town wasn't very busy at all which is weird for a Saturday but i kept walking as i walked past all the shops there were no people in them and all the shopkeepers looked bored and depressed. I wondered why no one was in town, i hadn't heard of any kind of event. I ignored the silentness of town and went and sat on the bench by the water fountain.

..............................................................**3 hours later**..............................................................

I had been there for 3 hours, i had texted my boyfriend 15 times and rang him 10 times but there was no sign of him and never and answer or reply. Where was he? Where was anybody?

I decided to give up and go home maybe there was something more interesting to do there.

Even though i was about to dump my boyfriend, i didn't feel at all sad i felt no emotions really i slowly made my way home and when i got there the door was unlocked someone was in there but who could it be? I heard someone upstairs so i slowly made my way up the stairs, they were in my sisters room so i walked in there, it was my sister she was crying and had her head rested on her knees as she was sat in the corner of the room sobbing into a ripped up tissue.

Without even thinking i power slid along the floor to her to see what was wrong. I lifted up her hand and tried to get to her face i asked her what was wrong but she just looked at me


	2. Chapter 2

Maybe she didn't trust me with what she was about to tell me but there must have been something that made her still do it,

"Evie, i need you to promise not to tell anyone until i say" she cried.

"Of course you know I'm there for you whatever happens i just want to know you're okay!" i replied

Even though as a person i hated my sister i still had sisterly love for her and i couldn't stand seeing her like this.

She looked up at me again this time with a glint of trust and love in her eyes; this made me happy that although she had no real care for me, she could still trust me. She sat up and i reached out and passed her a fresh tissue to wipe her beautiful grassy green eyes. Her makeup had run and smudged all down her face, she looked a mess but i ignored this and prepared for whatever was coming next, i had no idea what she was about to say to me so i had to try and be prepared for the worst.

"Evie, i have broken up with Jamie well, he broke up with me." She said

I was shocked but not because, of what she had just told me, i was shocked because what she had just told me really wasn't as bad as she had made out. Little did i know though that there was more, shocking news to come?

"That isn't so bad, what's wrong with that? People break up all the time. I just dumped Charlie! Why did u seem so dramatic about it before?" i said

"It's not that simple!"

She seemed angry now, but i hoped to god that she hadn't now lost her trust in me so i tried to get more out of her,

"Well whatever is it? Please tell me i am concerned for you i need to know what's wrong!"

More shimmering tears formed in her eyes a few of which sloped down her face, i grabbed another tissue and dabbed on her cheeked gently, then on her nose which made her calmly chuckle.

"I'm pregnant" she cried more and more by the second, "and i don't know who the father is, that is why Jamie dumped me, i need to have a DNA test and if Jamie isn't the father i need to try and contact whoever the father is"

She tucked her head between her knees again she cried, tears dripping and gracefully splashing onto the stone cold laminate floor, forming a small puddle between her feet. I leant forward and gave her a big reassuring hu

"I'm gonna help you through this but there is one thing in need you to do, i need you to look in my eyes,"

She looked up at me i had never seen her in such a sad mood and such a mess. Once we achieved full eye contact i continued,

"I need you to trust me when i say these 6 words, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT!"

As i said this she looked down at the floor again, and burst into hundreds of tears. This is one of those moments when i wish i was in my own world when i had no family to reassure and have trust in me but i knew that she needed me even if she didn't show it very well. I got up and picked up the box of tissues i threw it at her and left her to gather her together.

I made my way into the kitchen, we had no food but i didn't want to leave my sister on her own in the house so i texted mum to go shopping on her way home from work. I boiled the kettle and ran upstairs to get my **three cheers for sweet revenge** CD so i could release my worries and blast it through the house. I got it and ran back downstairs, i went to the stereo and switched on the surround sound, i put the CD in and pressed play, then i heard the kettle click so i rushed into the kitchen i got my favourite my chem. mug and made a strong coffee that should go well with the loud mcr it was still a bit hot to drink so i put it on the coffee table and began to run around the house moshing and shouting to the beat of **give 'em hell, kid, Helena** had began whilst i was making my coffee so i skipped it as soon as my coffee was ready to a more moshing style song! As terribly embarrassing as my singing is i decided to sing along to **you know what they do to guys like us in prison,**

"**In the middle of a gun fight,**

**In the centre of a restaurant,**

**They say come with your arms raised high,**

**Well their never gonna get me,**

**I'm like a bullet through a flock of doves,**

**To wage this war against your faith in me"**

By the time **I'm not okay** had finished i was getting tired and decided that during the ghost of you i would sit down and drink my coffee ready for more random moshing for songs like **thank you for the venom** and** cemetery drive**.

As the warm and strong tasting coffee slipped down my throat i felt much better and energetic, which was nice after my previous mood.

All of a sudden i put my coffee down and ran up the stairs into my sisters room, she was now lying in bed with one hand on her stomach rubbing it and her other hand was holding her phone i stood in the doorway, she didn't notice me there, from where i was stood i could see the reflection of her phone screen in the mirror, she was texting Jamie.

I knocked on the door and she jumped slightly, then threw a cushion at me and shouted at me to not scare her. I walked up to her and sat down next where she was

"Hey i went into town to meet Charlie today but he never turned up and wouldn't call me or reply to my texts and he wasn't at home so i dumped him. But whilst i was in town it was empty all the shops were bare it was so weird, you don't know why do you?"

She looked at me like i was crazy, what was i missing? I felt confused i didn't understand the look she was giving me or why she was giving me this look it felt strange, an awkward silence occurred i looked at her confused and she stared at me with an emotion i couldn't quite understand, we both waited but neither of us knew what to say or do. I had to break this silence but how? my mind went blank then i heard i never told you what i do for a living coming from downstairs so i started singing along, it didn't help the situation but it broke the silence and that was all i cared about at this moment in time.

"Another knife in my hands

A stain that never comes off the sheets

Clean me off

I'm so dirty babe

The kind of dirty where the water never..."

I was interrupted...

" the reason i gave you that look was because it's a bit obvious why everyone wasn't in town today do you not remember what's happening?"

I felt even more confused, "no i don't have a clue what you are talking about, please continue and explain..."

"Today is the day that your favourite band,"

"MCR?"

"Yes mcr, now can i finish?"

"Yeah i suppose sorry,"

"anyway today is the first day of their surprise tour and the first performance in is our town, you couldn't have forgotten that could you it's not like you to forget this, you wouldn't forget one of the band members birthdays how could you forget this you weirdo?"

I was stunned...

"How did i not know about this? Why did none of my mates tell me? why aren't i there? What the freaking hell was going on?"

"You mean you didn't forget?

"No! I never even knew!"

I was angry, and in a slight mood of disbelief, i stomped out of my sister's room down the stairs, the CD had now finished so i took it out of the stereo and tipped the rest of my coffee down the sink then i went upstairs into my room i put the CD on my desk in its case and lied down on my bed.


	3. Chapter 3

.......................................................4 hours later.............................................

Little did i know but i had fallen asleep on my bed and now mum was home i woke up and had a massive stretch, i rubbed my eyes and walked slowly into the bathroom i looked in the mirror, i looked half asleep still, i brushed through my hair and splashed some warm water over my face, i grabbed the towel from the rack next to me and dried my face gently. Then i made my way down the stairs into the kitchen where i saw my mum putting away the shopping. My sister was sat on the work top, when she saw me she looked scared and her eyes fell down to the floor as she jumped off the worktop and went back upstairs to her room.

I sat down at the kitchen table staring at my mum to see how long it would take her to notice that i wanted her attention. A few minutes later she seemed to notice and sat down opposite me she could tell something was wrong but i had mixed emotions so she seemed a bit confused.

"Mum, did you know that my favourite band ever, my chemical romance were doing a surprise tour and their first concert was in our town today?"

"Look i can explain,"

"What do you mean?"

"I knew you would want to go but i can't afford it and i don't want you spending all your money on it"

"But mum, we could put our money together, and you could have at least told me and explained before the show."

"I'm sorry i thought it was better that you didn't know but I'm not wasting my money on some silly show"

I got angry and decided to go out for a bit. I didn't know where or for how long but i just went out, after wandering around town for a while i decided to go to the my chem. Show and stand outside so at least i might be able to hear them. When the show was nearing an end i decided to go back home and go to bed there wasn't much point staying at the show and there wasn't much point staying awake at home.

On my way home there were two hoodies sat on a fence, they didn't go to my school, in fact i don't know if they go to school at all, but they were local chavy troublemakers they were the kind of losers who thought they were better than anyone else. As i walked towards them i could see them eying me up, i felt nervous and uncomfortable but i just kept walking.

"Hey sexy, bet you'd like to suck this!"

"Excuse me?"

"I said, i bet you want some of this, why don't you come over here and suck me"

"I don't think so" i said desperately trying to walk on. I sped up a bit but then they both jumped off and started following my down the road. It wasn't the smartest idea i had ever had but i decided to take a shortcut down an alley, i walked trying to stay calm. Then all of a sudden one of them pushed me up against the wall.

"get off me"

"Oh c'mon i know you love it really"

"No i don't now just leave me alone"

I tried fighting but he got the other one to hold my legs down whilst he held my arms, then he let go of one and got my other hand and put it down his pants, he pressed it hard against his balls and then let go i pulled my hand out of his pants as quickly as i could, i felt sick, he went to grab hold of my tits when i head butt him he fell back and i bent down and punched the other one holding on to my legs i stepped forward and kicked them both until i was sure they wouldn't get back up.

I heard a car driving along the road it was dark now and its headlights shone brightly over the road. I ran towards the end of the alley and got to the pavement it wasn't a car it looked like a van. I began to wave my arms about and it pulled over. As it got closer i realised it wasn't just any van, it was the mcr van.

Bob was driving he unwound the window and asked if i was okay

"No I'm not these hoodies just followed me down the alley and one of them tried to touch me and made me touch him. Please can you help me?"

Gee and frank quickly jumped out of the van and bob got out and dragged ray with them. Ass gee walked past me he said

"You get in the van with Mikey, he'll keep you safe, and where did they go?"

"No no!" i said, "just leave it; i just want to go home!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" i sighed, "please, just leave it"

"Do you want a lift home?"

"Seriously? Oh my god, yes please can i just say i am a big fan of you guys"

I got in the van and sat in-between gee and frank and on the journey home i told them all about my life and family and how i am their biggest fan and how they changed my life, it was great and i got to ask them loads of questions too! When we got to their house i asked them if they wanted to come in for a cup of coffee but gee said.

"Actually do you think it might be okay if we stay the night, we couldn't find a hotel with any vacancies and if its okay then that would be great because wed only be sleeping in the van otherwise?"

"I don't care what my mum says," i replied, "you can stay as long as you want!"

"Really? Wow that's great! Thank you very much!" frank said.

I helped them with their bags and told them to wait on the doorstep whilst i went t and told my mum. She wasn't happy but like i said to mcr i didn't care they were staying, this was my dream i wasn't going to let it go. I set up a bedroom in the lounge i made 6 beds because i decided i would stay with them. We watched a few films and had some popcorn and hot chocolate. Then we all decided to go to sleep. It was so much fun and i felt like i had known them for longer than a few hours which technically being a big fan i did but they were so cool i watched them all sleeping for a while and then i went to sleep too. I couldn't wait till the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning i was awoken by frank, he was poking me and whispering

"Hey wake up sleepy head"

I opened my eyes and sat up to find all the guys sat around me in a kind of circle eating toast and all with a cup of coffee i couldn't believe they were still here, it felt like a dream, got up and looked at them all quite happily eating their breakfast and drinking their coffees i didn't want to seem weird so i tried to be all cool with the whole "my chemical romance are in my lounge eating toast!!"

"I'm just going to go and get dressed guys, it isn't weird if i wear an mcr t-shirt is it?"

Ray giggled, "That would be funny, but we don't mind"

"Ooh actually i have a better t-shirt i think you might like"

"Oh gosh," gee said with a (obviously fake) expression of worry.

"back in a minute, help yourselves to anything in the kitchen, if you wanna put a CD on then come to my room and get one because my parents listen to absolute crap" i said with a slight giggle.

Frank and Mikey agreed to come to my room and pick a couple of CDs. I showed them the way and as i picked out some clothes to wear, hiding my surprise t-shirt, they rummaged through all my CDs in the end they picked out iron maiden- number of the beast and Metallica-master of puppets. They took the CDs downstairs and left me to get dressed.

Once i was dressed i told them all to close their eyes as i walked into the lounge,

"3...2...1! Open your eyes" i shouted

"Wow! A Mikey fucking way top"

Mikey looked pleased, they all giggled and then i sat down on the sofa next to frank and Mikey. There was a short awkward silence as we all listened to some iron maiden,

"Soooooo... what are you going to do today?" i said

"Well our next gig isn't until the end of next week actually, so we thought we would stay in town for a while but we still need to sort out some living arrangements" replied ray

"you know you can stay here for as long as you want, you could stay till your next concert if you want i honestly don't mind it is an honour to have my life-saver, my favourite band, my idols staying at my house, and don't you go think 'no we can't its rude' because it is not, to be honest i think it would be rude if you didn't stay!!" i said without breathing once

"Well as long as it's okay with your parents that would be great but we don't want you spending all your money trying to feed us and stuff that the only problem" said gee. Awwww he was so considerate and caring.

"Well I'll tell you what, guys, if you stay here and help with jobs around the house when you can maybe, and also help my mum with some shopping, maybe chip in on anything specifically for you then I'm sure it will be fine."

"Look you are really cool but i don't think that's enough! How about if we stay here, help with housework, chip in on shopping and give you a few free tickets and VIP passes to our next concert for you and your mates! How does that sound?" gee said with a beautiful beaming smile on his face.

"Oh my god, that sounds amazing, are you sure, oh my god, you guys are the best!"

I jumped up and gave them all a hug, this was amazing i didn't wasn't this to end, i hoped that after the concert we could still stay in touch they are so sweet and so cool and they said i am cool! Me! Cool and coming from the best damn band in the world! Now that was something. But now all i cared about was hanging out with my chemical romance for the next week and a half! This was going to be totally immense!

Later that day we went shopping, gee bought me an incredibly awesome jacket with buckles and clips and even though it may be slightly weird i bought some mcr merchandise and then we went into an American style coffee shop to make them feel more at home. I ordered a large mocha and then went and paid for everybody's drinks. The boy at the counter was a friend from school, he gave me a funny look, and I was confused. He smiled and looked excited and pointed to mcr sat at our table chatting.

"Dude! Mcr are here! Are you gonna get autographs?"

"No dude! They're with me; they are staying at my house for a bit until they go to the next surprise concert in a different town"

"Seriously, can i bring your drinks to your table so i can meet them? Please please please??"

"Okay if you are that desperate"

"Thank you so much"

"No! Thank you"

We both walked to the table and i sat down looking at the 'waiter' as he smiled nervously and put the tray down, but he was so nervous that he dropped the tray and boiling hot coffee spilt all over my leg, it burned and i screamed with pain. My skin was literally bubbling so ray grabbed my phone off the table and rang for an ambulance.

Gee went in the ambulance with me as i was sat next to him and he had burnt his hand slightly. When we got to the ambulance i was rushed into an emergency room while gee went off to minor injuries. My leg was severely burnt and i needed some therapy but i was told i should recover well.

A nurse agreed to take me to minor injuries to see how Gerard was and what was taking him so long. When we got there they told us he had been checked out and had a bandage on his hand and they hadn't seen him since. He didn't come to find me though, that was weird. Just as i was turning round to go back to my ward i saw him outside sat on a bench in tears. I asked the nurse to rush me out to him. I asked him what was wrong; he was holding his phone tightly in the hand that wasn't burnt. I looked him in the eyes tears forming and dropping by the second. What on earth could be wrong?

I put my arm around him and gave him a hug, i had only recently met him in person but i was such a big fan and already i felt like we were close good friends.

"Gee, what's wrong?"

"I just had someone ring me to tell me Lindsey and Jamia were killed in a head on collision with a lorry on their way to the mall"

"Oh my god, i can't believe it? What about bandit? Is she okay?"

"She was with the babysitter they are both okay and the babysitter has agreed to keep her for as long as we need her to."

"Are you gonna cancel the shows and go back?"

"I think we might need to"

"What about frank?"

"They have already rung him but i am going to ring him in a minute, shall we get a taxi back to your house? then we can meet the others there and sort out what we are doing."

"Okay"

We phoned frank and told him to get the other and tell them what happened and then meet them all at my house then we called for a taxi, the nurse help me in but i was okay hopping. I guess i wouldn't be spending a week and a half hanging out with mcr in the end anyway. And i won't get free tickets to the show because there won't be one this was weird, but then i thought, hey! Don't care about that! Gee and frank have just lost their wives! They need support and help.

In the taxi gee burst into tears again. I hugged him all the way home we were both in disbelief but i felt happy hugging someone i loved and trusted, i had a feeling they weren't just going to leave me now.


	5. Chapter 5

Gerard booked a flight leaving at 10.30 the next morning so we couldn't do the usual staying up and playing dares and chatting that we normally did in the evening, instead they all had to pack and say their goodbyes, i was so sad, i got their numbers if there was anything i wanted to talk to them about and i gave them mine just in case there was anything they needed my help with.

The next morning i helped frank and gee finish packing it was still only 9 o' clock so we went to the local shop to buy some breakfast and some snacks for the journey. I was still sad and they knew it! I didn't talk much and i wasn't as hyper and bubbly as usual i didn't walk with a spring in my step at all, i was depressed.

Since they came to stay i hadn't had to go into my own world at all because reality was turning out so much better than the other world now all i could think about was how, now they're going, i would have to go in my dream world and they wouldn't be there but they wouldn't be in my reality either, when i was with them it felt so right i was happy for the first time in my life, actually happy. But now they really were leaving me and i couldn't stop them it could be years until i see them again but i couldn't wait that long i wanted them here, with me all of the time.

I went to the airport with them to say goodbye and my step dad picked me up once they had gone.

I cried in the car on the way home, i cried when i got home, i went up to my room in my bed and cried myself to sleep. They actually went! I didn't want to ring them it would seem desperate i just put the black parade CD on and lay on my bed thinking of all the things i had planned and dreamt about while they were here.

The next few weeks were a blur, i didn't eat much, i didn't drink much, i hardly spoke at all to anybody and i lived in my room all day, every day, i slept a lot, i cried a lot but one strange thing that i did that i don't normally do, was i wrote, songs, poems, stories i just wrote, how i felt how i wanted to feel, what i felt like doing if i actually felt like doing anything which most of the time i didn't want to do anything at all.

What i wrote was deep and meaningful a bit like mcr's lyrics; life and death, thoughts and feelings, love and hate. I'd never wrote before and now, all of a sudden all these amazing metaphors and words just kept flowing in and out of my head so i just wrote them all down to see what i could do and it was incredible. Until one day my mum wanted to "chat" something was wrong and i was scared.

"I've read the things you have been writing about and i am concerned maybe we should take you to a specialist."

I was so angry! How could she do this to me?

"I'm not going mental i am just expressing my feelings and thoughts, there is nothing wrong with that, and if you feel there is something wrong with that then maybe you should see a specialist!"

I got up and stormed out of the house i was so angry at mum i know she was trying to help but she didn't have to read my stuff it was personal! And then to suggest i was going mental or something? It's her fault not mine i can't help it that all these things go through my head.

I was out for longer than i thought; 4 hours in fact i didn't even go far! I just went up the road and sat on the roadside watching the cars go past and the drunken people who stumbled by every now and again. I just sat there thinking all these things came into my head but i didn't have any paper to write them down or any way of expressing myself i felt like i was going to explode with all these things rushing around my head, what could i do?

Then i thought about gee and the others it had been a few weeks since they left and since then i had been having these weird things in my head. Maybe needed to talk to them about it. Maybe they could help. Maybe i just needed to see them or hear their voices say my name one last time and from then on every time i had doubts i knew everything would be alright. But then, what if that wasn't it. What if there was something else. Something they couldn't help me with or something that wasn't quite what it seemed. I didn't know what to do, i got my phone out of my pocket but for some reason i just couldn't call them. Why not? There was something stopping me, maybe inside, i had to find the answers and help myself. I sat there for about another 45 minutes but then i went home i ignored my mum as i walked up the stairs, well i tried to,

"Evie, i need to talk to you, now! No excuses and no more ignoring me, this is urgent!"

I turned around to see my sister sat next to my mum in tears, maybe she had told her about the baby and about Jamie, and I walked up slowly, looking them both in the eyes as I did. I sat down on the chair opposite my mum; she looked like loads of different emotions at the same time: angry, sad, lonely, depressed, excited, she was hysterical. I was scared, i just wanted to crawl into a hole and live there.

"Mum knows!" my sister cried, "about me and Jamie, and..." she didn't even want to say it, "the baby"

"What do you want to talk to me about then?" i asked.

"Well," mum started but shortly after she burst into tears. "If your sister thinks she is old enough to have a child then i think she is old enough to have her own place, with, or WITHOUT Jamie."

I couldn't believe what she said; i sat there with my mouth wide open completely speechless. She was kicking my sister out. How could she? I thought mums were supposed to be supportive. This was terrible, just more in my head on top of everything else. I could not believe what was happening to me lately let alone this!

I burst into instant endless tears and ran upstairs; i ran into my room and slammed the door then barricaded it with my bed which i then lay on crying into my cold pillow. It was uncomfortable lying on my phone which was in my pocket so i pulled it out, i looked at the screen, it was still on gee's number, it was strange, i no longer felt the feeling that stopped me from ringing him before, maybe now i needed their help.


	6. Chapter 6

This was it i was going to ring him, i didn't know what he would say or do but i wanted to do what it took to find out, i needed this, i needed help so i pressed dial and waited.

'_ring ring, ring ring, ring ring' _

"_Hello_?"

"Um hi Gerard it's Evie," I mumbled, i was scared and nervous, "you know you said if anything was wrong or if i wanted to talk then i just needed to ring you?"

"Yes, of course, what's wrong?"

"My mum knows that my sister is pregnant and she is kicking her out and also since you have been gone, i have been having all these weird things going round my head so I've been writing them down and it's a bit like your lyrics and it's really weird and I'm scared and i need help please...?"

"Whoa whoa whoa, calm down, and slow down," he chuckled nervously, "what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know I'm confused, everything is weird and it's all going wrong, please Gerard?"

"Okay, look we have the funeral all sorted and it isn't for about half a week, so do you want me to come and see you?"

"Could you?"

"Yes of course, and if that doesn't help then maybe you could come to America with us for a while to take your mind off things."

"Thank you so much! I think that might help."

"That's okay, I'll go tell the others and we will book a flight for tomorrow, don't worry, tell your mum and your sister what you are doing and tell your sister she is going to be okay!"

"Alright, see you soon, and again, gee, thanks!"

I smiled, i knew now i was going to be okay, i forgot about telling my mum and rushed to get my suitcase and pick out a load of clothes, and lots of eyeliner didn't know how long i was going to be staying there but i could always go shopping while i was there, so i packed as many clothes as i could and then i got all my money and packed that in a safe money case which i put in my handbag.

I still didn't want to socialise with anyone in my family and it was getting late so i went to bed. I was awoken at 3.17 am by my phone; i answered it before it woke everyone else up. It was gee.

"look, I know i said that i was gonna fly out tomorrow but i went straight online after talking to you and there was a flight leaving in an hour so i grabbed bob and frank to come with me and we are on our way to your house in a taxi so get ready to go."

"Okay, I've packed so I'll get my suitcase and some more money from my sister's room, she shouldn't wake up. Then I'll meet you out the front of the house."

"Okay."

I put the phone back in my pocket then i went through my suitcase again, checking i had all my medication and everything else i needed then i headed downstairs, i grabbed a load of food from the kitchen because i knew the guys probably hadn't eaten yet. Then i made my way outside and waited in the drive.

A few minutes later, a taxi pulled up, it was dark and the headlights shone over the whole garden. I began to cry, Gerard, frank and bob jumped out, they saw i had my suitcase and, then we all squeezed back into the taxi, the taxi driver got out and took my suitcase off me and put it in the boot of the car. When we were all in, Gee asked the driver to take us back to the airport. Gee went up to the desk and got us tickets to go back to America. We waited for ages, but then, after a long sleep huddled up together it was our flight. We got ready with our tickets and i pulled my passport out of the front pocket on my suitcase we stood in the short line, and boarded happily. The seats were in threes so me and frank sat together and kept a seat spare, and bob and gee sat together and kept a seat spare. On the flight to America i fell asleep on frank but the others didn't sleep. Frank and gee were discussing joint funeral plans while bob was watching a few movies on the DVD player on the back of the seat.

When i woke up, i looked out of the window to see America, i had never been to America before but i felt safe and comfortable with gee, we went back to his house, where Mikey and ray were waiting for us. I ran up and gave them a hug. But then i didn't know what to do next. Gee showed me to a guest room and i unpacked he told me to meet them down in the kitchen when i was done. I decided to get changed as well as i had slept in these clothes i wanted to wear something fresh. I found the bathroom and washed then i did my makeup and got changed into some dark green skinny jeans with a black iron maiden top and some black and green patterned converses.


	7. Chapter 7

A few days later, it was time for the funeral so, we dressed up in our black clothes, and I had bought some black handkerchiefs so I put them in my handbag and went into the bedroom to get ready. Me and gee spent the longest doing our makeup, as usual.

When we were ready, everybody gathered in the kitchen and prepared, i gave gee a hug, it was nice, but all of a sudden i felt this weird feeling. I thought that i loved him; maybe it was just a crush. Or more? It would explain quite a lot, i pulled away from him and ran upstairs, i got into my room and looked through my suitcase until i found the things i had written over the last few weeks during my mild mental breakdown. Sat on the floor of my room scrambling through it i was breathing heavily and tears poured out of my eyes; i heard footsteps rushing up the stairs. I wasn't surprised; i did make quite an exit. Frank rushed into my room and power slid across the floor to me. He put his arms around me and pulled me back, he took the paper out of my hands, and hugged me, gee bent down on his knees and looked at the paper on my floor.

"Is this what you told me about?"

"Yeah, i don't mind you looking at it, that's why i brought it." I said

Frank still had his arms around me so i leaned into him and gave him a hug i was still crying and my makeup had run all down my face, i looked terrible. Gee was still going through my things, reading it, tears formed in his eyes. I didn't know what was wrong, but i just looked deep into his eyes as he looked down at my stuff, his eyes were so beautiful, even when they were pouring with tears.

"You're gonna be late, Gerard, i don't want to steal the day." I said.

"Evie, you are as important as anything! I think this stuff you have written is amazing but i am concerned, look, go fix your makeup and we will talk about this after the funeral."

"Okay," i squeezed Frankie extra tight, i didn't want to let go, and I felt safe. He pushed me back and rubbed my arms as if to warm me up.

"You're going to be okay, trust me, i want to stay with you and help you." He whispered.

He helped me up and i rushed into the bathroom to fix my makeup and try to make myself look a bit less of a mess. I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath before making my way downstairs to join the others.

-------------------------------------------------about an hour or two later----------------------------------------------

We all sat in the church, even though i wasn't family or a close friend, the guys insisted that i sat at the front with them. All of them but frank went outside to help with the carrying of the coffins, frank was too short to hold it and didn't fancy leaving me on my own. Sad and slow music began to play and the coffins came in carried by sad looking Ray, Gee, Bob and Mikey and then other friends and family. The coffins were placed at the front and then everyone sat down as a short stumpy man appeared and began saying,

"Good day friends, we are gathered here today to say goodbye to two women, loved by many, never to be forgotten. Please may you all stand, there are leaflets, being handed out please take one and feel free to sing along."

Frank stood up first and then so did the others, they made their way to the front where there was a big curtain blocking off part of the church, they all went behind it, i wondered why when all of a sudden the curtain fell and the bend were stood there. 1, 2, 3...

_**Long ago  
Just like the hearse, you die to get in again  
We are so far from you**_

Burning on  
Just like a match you strike to incinerate  
The lives of everyone you know

And what's the worst you take  
(Worst you take)  
From every heart you break  
(Heart you break)  
And like a blade you stain  
(Blade you stain)  
Well, I've been holding on tonight

What's the worst that I could say?  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight  
So long and goodnight

Came a time  
When every star fall  
Brought you to tears again  
We are the very hurt you sold

And what's the worst you take  
(Worst you take)  
From every heart you break  
(Heart you break)  
And like the blade you stain  
(Blade you stain)  
Well, I've been holding on tonight

What's the worst that I could say?  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight  
So long and goodnight

well, if you carry on this way  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight  
So long not goodnight

can you hear me?  
Are you near me?  
Can we pretend?  
To leave and then  
we'll meet again  
When both our cars collide

what's the worst that I could say?  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight  
So long not goodnight

well, if you carry on this way  
Things are better if I stay  
So long and goodnight  
So long and goodnight

Gerard stepped forward and thanked everyone for singing along, then he began his speech, i turned around to see all the crying people in the church. Just gee's voice saying the meaningful words he spoke brought a tear to your eye. Once gee had finished his amazing speech, little Frankie walked forward and began his speech, it was just as beautiful as Gerard's and his voice was cute and reminded you of a young child crying.

-------------------------------------------That evening---------------------------------------------------------

We were back at home now and nobody seemed to be communicating to anybody. They were all tired and sad and were sat in the lounge going through what they were now going to do with their lives in their heads.


	8. Chapter 8

The next few days were a blur really, people were still recovering from the recent events and still, communication was a rare thing, i decided there wasn't really much point in me being there, i had come at a bad time and there were too many other things going on in their lives for them to try and help me. So i went up to my room and packed my suitcase. Gerard came in and i told him what i was doing and why, he was surprised but not really shocked, he understood and i told him there was no need to apologise for not paying any attention to me, it wasn't his fault at all. His wife had just died for fuck sake.

"I'm sorry that i made you want to go Evie, i just had so much in my head, but i though even if i couldn't spend much time with you or help you, you could still enjoy yourself here and use it as some time out from your home." He looked me in the eyes with his beautiful ones.

"You're right, I'm sorry and it was time out from home and it was great being with you but I'm still worried about my sister and i think i need to face the facts, if you can't help me, no one can so i just need to go home and face it all by myself." I stared and took deep breaths.

"Evie i don't want you feeling like your life can't be good and happy and sorted, i really do want to help you, just, maybe now wasn't the best time to help"

"I know, i know and thanks anyway. If i need you i will call you like you said before,"

"But i want to help you, i feel bad."

Fine, maybe you could come back with me for a day or two and help me with my sister, if your that desperate to help, that would be a big help and it would mean a lot to both of us."

"Okay, i will anything you need,"

"And that is what i need."

"Okay, I'll be right back then i should go and pack some of my stuff too."

He leant forward and gave me a kiss on the forehead; i put my hand on his cheek and pulled his face down so his lips were touching mine. I took a deep breath and began to kiss him, it felt so right he was such a passionate kisser, and to my surprise, he didn't pull away, he kept kissing me back, up until the point where Mikey walked past the room and saw everything.

"Oh my god you guys, what is going on?" he screamed.

We quickly jumped back and looked each other in the eyes once more, it was only for a second but it was great. He winked at me and stood up he turned around to see Mikey standing at the door with his mouth wide open, speechless and shocked at what he had just saw.

"look Mikey, I'm sorry you had to see that but please just act like it never happened okay, don't tell anyone, look i am going back with Evie for a couple of days to help her with her sister."

"Are you sure you aren't just going so you two can be alone and do... that... again..."

"No, seriously her sister needs help and i think it will be good for me to take my mind off Lindsey."

"Yeah, your wife, who just died, who you loved, who you were married to, who you just cheated on."

"Mikey! People need to move on, it's my life! Don't get so angry at me and let me make my own decisions please?"

Mikey ran off to his room and slammed the door like a child who had just been grounded. But he was right, Gerard's wife had just died and already i was making moves on him but i couldn't help it, there was something about his eyes that just took me away to this magical place.

Me and Gerard had our bags all ready and we stood at the top of the stairs holding our bags, he offered to carry mine and i tried to not look in his eyes as i said no but i couldn't help but look up into them, as i did i felt myself melt into this magical place again. I had to face it, i was in love with him but not just him, I was in love with his eyes. I just shook my head and carried on down the stairs, we put our bags by the front door, by then everyone knew that we were going and frank agreed to come along with us he already had his bags packed and they were in the boot of gee's car, bob had agreed to give us a lift to the airport.

Bob helped us with our bags and we got going, frank had booked the tickets whilst me and Gerard were finishing packing. We said goodbye to everyone apart from Mikey who was still sulking in his room. I didn't know whether to go to see him or just to leave it. Gerard came and gave me a hug, he whispered in my ear

"Don't worry about Mikey; he'll be fine, i promise,"

I took his words and continued out the door. We put our bags in the boot of the car and got in, Gerard sat in the front and me and frank were in the back, on the way to the airport i fell asleep with my head rested on Frankie's shoulder when i woke up we were nearly at the airport so i didn't go back to sleep because i knew i wouldn't be asleep for very long.

When we got there we collected our bags from the boot and went into the airport we sorted out all of the luggage and seating and now all we had to do was wait until our flight was called. About 45 minutes later our flight was called so we went up to the desk to hand in our tickets and passports and board the plane. Because there were only three of us, we could all sit together, the seats were small and it was a bit of a squeeze but it was cosy and soon after the plane took off we were all asleep.

After a long flight to my town, we got off the airplane and waited outside for a taxi, it was a long wait but we eventually got a taxi so we began our journey to my house, when we got there, i saw a different new car in the driveway, I'd never seen this car before but i expected it was just a visitor for mum or something. We all entered the house and mum came out of the kitchen, she was surprised to see us but didn't bother giving me a hug or even saying hello to Frankie and gee which was rude and shocking for her to be like that.

We went straight up to my room but we had barely been there for 5 minutes when there was a knock at the door, it was my mum and she told me that the car outside was because my old best friend Meelix Evamara Albrina Stump, she was my best friend and she had been on holiday for a few months, so she missed the whole thing, she had gone away at the wrong time definitely but it was great to see her again and i had so much to tell her, she came into my room and as she saw Frankie and Gerard she just stopped on the spot not saying anything, not even moving and I'm pretty sure she went a long time without breathing too.

Gerard and Frankie sat on my bed as i told Meelix all about what had been happening, they just sat there politely listening and watching, every now and again i would look over to Gerard to see his beautiful eyes and i would pause with the story and then begin again as soon as i looked away and recovered from the state i was in when i looked at his eyes. But i feared she may notice how passionately i looked at him and i feared she might say something, so i just kept talking and talking so she didn't actually have a chance of getting a word in. Every now and again i would take another breath and when i did she tried to say something so i quickly just rambled on about something else. But soon my story had to end and that's when she finally said what she wanted to say.

"Hey, you know Mason"

"Yeah, oh my god i haven't seen her in ages, well, a while but it feels like ages!"

"I saw her the other day and i said about us meeting up when you got back and she was thrilled, how does that sound?"

"Brilliant!"

"Great I'll ring her now!"

"Don't say anything about these guys though, they are only really here to help me with my sister and i don't want a big fuss about them. I need their help not their fame."

"okay, i wont, and I'm shocked after what you told me about your sister i think we should keep it secret, it's not something you want to broadcast really,"

Your right, i only told you because you are my best friend in the world. Best not to tell someone something as shocking as this over the phone, i think it is best in person too."

"Okay."

And with that she rang Mason, who, after a while was knocking on my door. Mason was my second best friend in the world, and i hadn't even known her for very long and already i knew she was a totally awesome amazing person who i totally loved!

After a short while of talking to Mason though i felt really bad for Frankie and gee,, i went to their house for help and they had other things going on and ignored me so i invite them to come to me to help but i have other things going on and was beginning to ignore them.

I told mason and Meelix or m 'n' m as i called them, to go to the shops and get some snacks so i could sort things out with gee and frank. The understood fully and were soon gone.


	9. Chapter 9

When we were talking about what we going to do, my sister came home to get some of her stuff, she was living with a friends until she could get a place of her own, she came up the stairs and before she could turn the handle of her bedroom door, i was right next to her and i grabbed her arm and dragged her into my room (like a child dragging their mum to a toy shop window), she took a big sigh wondering what on earth i had in my room that i needed to drag her in there. She didn't know that i had been living in America for the last few days because she hadn't been home since the day of the night that i left. We got into my room and she was very surprised to see gee and frank sat on my bed staring at her.

"We are going to help you find a place and sort yourself out."

"You are joking, you know these people are very famous and have lives of their own," she said with one eyebrow raised (like the mum telling the child they don't need more toys). I just gestured for her to sit down so he did and i sat with them on the bed, we talked about the different options and ideas we all had that could help us.

"Wait, Evie do you even want to stay here, with the way you and your parent are at the moment, because you two could share a place if you think that would be better." Frank said.

I looked over to my sister as a kind of 'what do you think' but she didn't say anything she just looked at me with a smirk on her face.

"Gee, Frankie, i just wanted to say i think you guys are really great and it would be a shame if, after you have given us all this help, for you to just go back to America and never speak to me again."

"Well," gee started, "what are you saying; you want to live with us?"

"Not exactly but kind of, you know," i turned to my sister, "you could find a house in America and i could stay with you,"

"You really think it is a good idea to stay with me?"

"Why shouldn't i?"

"Well, i will be having boys round all the time and it won't be your kind of place plus we are both really different, we won't be able to agree on anything,"

"But if you get a house in America, what will i do?"

"I have an idea," Gerard said. Then he turned to frank and whispered something in his ear, frank whispered back and they started a short whispering conversation before turning to me both with a grin on their faces, i was looking forward to whatever it was they had discussed.

"this is a perfect idea," frank said before turning to Gerard gesturing that he told us the idea while frank just sat there grinning in excitement at what i was about to be told.

"How about..."

"Yes,"

"You two..."

"Just say it gee!" i shouted, but not in anger.

"Okay, okay, how about if you both come to America, your sister find a place near my house and you can live in the oversized shed i have in my garden, we used to use it for music practice before frank got the studio which we now use so it is perfect, it has toilets and electricity and everything."

"Really, you want me to live with you?"

"Yeah i think you are really cool and..."

He was interrupted by me hugging him knocking over as i lay pretty much on top of him on the bed, squeezing him with all my might. Well i stopped quickly before i looked into his dreaded beautiful eyes. I sat up and so did he, we both straightened ourselves up and i hugged frank but not quite as forcefully as i did gee.

Frank stood up,"I might use the bathroom all of this excitement is making me need to pee."

We all looked at him, in a kind of ' we didn't want to know that but thanks anyway' look, then my sister stood up and said, "I'm gonna go ring my mate and tell her what's happening then, if we are going to America like you just said, that is, me and gee looked at each other, damn it! I had to look into his eyes didn't i? I couldn't even blink, i just felt like kissing him.

"Uh umm yeah i think that is what's happening," gee said, breaking the awkwardness.

My sister got up and left the room, oh shit! Now me and Gerard were alone, not a very good idea. It began to get awkward, you could feel it in the air so i started talking about the new home i was getting but he could tell i didn't mean anything i said and that there was something else on my mind. And I'm pretty sure he also knew that the thing was him.

"Evie, i need you to look at me and tell me what is on your mind, what is making you so awkward when you are near me and what made you kiss me yesterday."

Shit! I was always trying not to look at him and now he is asking me to, was this torture?

I tried not to focus on his eyes but still look at him and try to keep calm, "i don't know if you will be happy to hear this but there is one answer to all of those questions Gerard."

"Just tell me, its okay."

He put his hand on my cheek, why wasn't frank back? Why? Why? Why? But then i heard frank talking to my sister about America in the other room, crap!

"I love you Gerard Arthur way!"

"What, are you sure?

"Yes, that is what is on my mind, that is what makes me awkward when near you and that is why i kissed you."

Strangely, he didn't seem too surprised. I just took a deep breath in like he was about to say something but, instead of actually saying something he just leant forward and kissed me, obviously i kissed him back and we fell back, like when i hugged him, but this time there was more than hugging going on, before i couldn't stand the pain of looking in his eyes but at this moment in time i could resist it.

All of a sudden there was a knock on the door, i felt so pissed off i just wanted to stay here with gee but he was the sensible one and he got up and went to the dor, it was M 'n' M back from the shops with bags full of snacks, all of a sudden, the anger went away and they emptied the bags onto the bed, there was allsorts on there, i called frank and pretty soon we were all rummaging through trying to find something good.

When we were all pretty full i began telling Meelix and Mason about what we were planning, they were pretty sad that i was leaving them and kind of jealous that i would be living with Gerard. I pulled Gerard outside of the room for a minute and not to kiss him or anything, this time i was serious.

"How big is this shed thing?"

"Pretty big"

"You don't think M 'n' M could live there too do you?"

"That's a great idea, sure they can but they need to ask their parents."

I turned ready to go back into my room and spread the good news but gee grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him

"i love you too," that was all he said before kissing me, he put one hand on my hip and the other he ran through my hair, it felt so great, he was so gentle but i was too excited and pulled away jumping back into my room clapping whilst jumping up and down with excitement. Everyone looked a little confused but i soon shouted to m 'n' m,

"Do you want to come live with me in America, Gerard says the shed is massive, please please please??!!" they now looked slightly scared

Meelix shouted "woo yesh please that would be so amazing!!"

Now everybody i the room was jumping with excitement, it was official, everyone in that room was going to live in America.


	10. Chapter 10

We planned for my sister to stay in the shed with M 'N' M and i would stay with gee until we could get my sister a place, i also suggested for her to start dating again because her baby will need a father. I asked gee if he knew any people who were single or might like her, it sounded a bit cheesy but she needs someone. All of a sudden something clicked in the back of my mind, Gerard, frank and Mikey were the only ones who had someone and now gee and frank lost their wives, what if my sister went out with someone in the band? Not gee though, me and him had this amazing this going on. But we still didn't know how people would react, Mikey went home with Alicia for a while because he still didn't want to talk to me and gee after what happened.

We got to America so i dumped my stuff in gee's house and then we showed the others to their...shed. We left them in there to unpack and make themselves at home. I went into gee's house to do the same. He went down into the kitchen to make us all some much needed coffee. I finished unpacking and made my way back downstairs gee was still in the kitchen, i crept up behind him and gave him a massive hug, i whispered in his ear, "thank you for this, i love you."

He turned around and put his hands round my waist and kissed me on the cheek, "Are we going to tell the others yet?"

"Well we should, they're gonna find out at some point we are gonna be living together, if we want anything to happen between us then they have to know it is official."

"Okay, so when do u want to tell them?"

"Well are we even officially going out yet?"

"I don't think so."

"Gerard..."

"Yesh..."

"Will you go out with me because i love you and you love me,"

"Indeed i will"

I giggled and gave him a squeeze before kissing him, he held me against him so gently but passionately it was so nice, i still felt bad about Lyn and Jamia but i didn't want to say anything, not because i was selfish but simply because i loved him so much and time is to love the one you are with.

I heard M 'n' M at the door so i pulled away and dragged them to the sofa winking at gee, i was about to tell them. We all sat down and gee sat next to me and put his arm around me but they didn't seem bothered, then he leant into me but still they didn't seem too worried he kissed me on the cheek and they still didn't show any sign of surprise.

"Guys," i cleared my throat, "we've got something to tell you."

"You're going out." Meelix said.

"Yeah we know." Mason added.

"May i ask how?"

"We were coming out of the shed and saw you two through the window."

"Oh, ok"

"So, what...what do you think? You know i mean, umm, what...does...it.....bother you?" Gerard mumbled.

"No, not really we're happy for you," Mason said

"You gonna give me a hug?" i said to them.

We did a cheesy group hug and then broke, then it got awkward for a moment, i looked t gee, oh sweet holy Jesus, his fucking eyes!

"We have a great plan for a slight redecoration of the shed; if that's okay with you, want to come and see?"

"Yeah sure, c'mon gee." i said with a grin.

"I'll follow you guys, I'll just finish the coffees" gee replied.

"It won't take a minute; i don't like my coffee too hot anyway." I smiled.

"Uhh, okay then" gee smiled at me, god i thought his eyes were a fucking wonderland. His smile is just like a heavenly dream.

We made our way out to the garden, and into the shed. They had already unpacked most of their stuff, and it felt homely already, damn, they were good! It looked pretty cool; they had all claimed their own part of the shed. Whilst looking around the shed, my mind started daydreaming again. If i stay living in the house with Gerard then my sister doesn't have to rush too much to try and find a place of her own. They had been talking about it whilst i was thinking, they all turned to me probably expecting me to say something rather than just stand there daydreaming, i thought as fast as i could and then came out with,

"Guys i think it is awesome, do you love it?"

Oh my god that didn't make much sense, they looked at me like i was drunk but soon Meelix, the hyper psycho she is, seemed to make sense out of what i said and replied,

"Yeah i love it dude!"

"Great! So i was just thinking, if me and Gerard are a _thing_ now then maybe i should live in the house with him. Are you guys okay out here without me?"

"Yeah that would be so cool!"

"Well, also Gerard could i talk to you outside for a minute?"

God! I sounded like a teacher dragging a child out of the classroom to give them a detention. That had happened to me many times before and i sounded exactly like it.

We walked outside, and i turned to him, i put one hand on his chest and with the other one, rand my fingers down his cheek, down his neck soon to join the other one on his warm chest. Then i took a deep breath in, before looking into his eyes and start talking, "do you think it's okay that i stay in the house with you, we are a couple now and it makes sense doesn't it?"

"yes of course, he pulled away ready to go back into the shed he sighed surprised that i dragged him outside into the cold to ask him something that i could of just said out loud when the others were there. But i grabbed his hand, it was warm and comforting, i looked up at him again.

"Don't walk away from me."

"Sorry i didn't know you had something more to say, what is it babe?"

He put his hands on my waist and put his face close to mine, i could feel is breath down my neck, it made me shiver, he noticed and pulled me closer again, although we couldn't physically get much closer now.

"If I'm living in the house, do you think it is okay if my sister stays in the shed a bit longer?"

"You mean live in there?"

"No just if there's room, we can give her longer to find a place of her own, and a person. She shouldn't feel as pressured now. Before i was only staying with you in wait for her to get out, but if I'm permanently staying with you, then she shouldn't feel as pressured and maybe stay there for a while, just until she settled."

"Yeah sure, it doesn't bother me, i never use that shed anyway and I'm happy staying here with you."

"Thanks gee." I went on my tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the forehead, then his cheek, then our mouths met, we stayed there for minutes kissing but then i opened my eyes to see 3 familiar faces staring out of the window of the shed."

I pulled away from gee," god we get no privacy here do we?"

We both laughed and pulled away; we held hands and walked back into the shed.

They all giggled and smiled at us; i was a little creeped out but forced a smile back. We told my sister what was planned and she was thrilled. We let them finish unpacking and me and gee went back into the house; the coffees were still warm so we downed them and went up to my room.

"Hey Evie,"

"Yes"

"You never told me your sisters name."

"Sorry, she's called, Velene."

"Wow that name is amazing"

"Isn't it?"

I kissed him and with that we lay on the bed for ages hugging and kissing in heavenly love.

This was the beginning of my new life in America! And it was great! No longer will i have to go to my own world in my head, reality is finally better.

"**Love is when you can't get to sleep at night because you know that reality is finally better than your dreams."**


	11. Chapter 11

Over the next few weeks we had told just about everyone about me and Gerard, Mikey was still angry but seemed to have calmed down since we last spoke to him. They had to go to the recording studio today, do some backing for the new album. I went along with them and took my sister but M'N' M wanted to stay home and decorate, when we were there Velene went straight over to bob, and asked him for a go on his drums, she was quite good but it was probably because she had a lot of emotion to release.

I decided to leave them to it and go to Gerard and frank. They were discussing the music, so i joined in, totally pretending i knew what they were talking about.

"No, no i think that bit should be like la la la la la!" gee would say

"Hey guys you're both wrong." I added.

They looked at me confused.

"It should be like la la la but then go to this bit..." i grabbed franks guitar and played a tune, "then you go la la la, at the end."

"Since when could you sing and play guitar?"

"I dunno just comes naturally." I smiled; frank smiled back sarcastically and snatched his guitar back.

I turned to go and see ray who was just sitting quietly in the corner playing on the Xbox. I heard frank whisper t gee behind me,

"Why is she always right?"

"Because, she is perfect," that made me blush, but it made me happy inside too.

I sat down next to Ray whom was playing some driving game; i watched his face sheer concentration covered it, no knowledge of what was going on around him at all. Then the words he did not want to hear came from the game,

"**GAME OVER**!"

"Shit!!" he yelled, very loudly, still unaware that there were other people in the room.

Everyone stopped and looked, to see an angry Ray, finally blink and snap out of his trance to notice them all staring, he blushed slightly, obviously embarrassed, then he turned to see me sat next to him, he didn't know i was there before, was rather shocked but seemed to just smile at me and start playing another game, i decided i would see just how good he really was so i picked up the other controller,

"**Player 2 has entered the game!"**

He looked up at me almost surprised that i wanted to challenge I'm but just shrugged his shoulders and we began the game, obviously i kicked his ass, once i had kicked his ass a few more times everyone was ready to start practicing, Ray looked at me and said,

"This isn't over Evie!"

"Ooh I'm scared, NOT!" i chuckled, he laughed too, only sarcastically then we both walked into the studio, frank sat down on his special spinning chair and gee walked up to the microphone, bob got up on the drum stand and ray and Mikey just stood either side of Gerard. Gerard started tapping his foot and bob started a decent beat on the drums, then they all began to play, it was a good song, i enjoyed it and i loved watching Gerard singing too.

When we were all finished there, after several songs and a load of caffeine we decided to call it a day, we all said goodbye to each other and made our way home. Gerard and i got into the car and i looked at him, he looked back and gave me a kiss.

"You were really good today,"

"Thanks, not too bad yourself, did you notice we played what you suggested?"

"I did actually; it sounded way better than before." I said sarcastically, I stuck my tongue out at him.

He pretended to be upset and started the car. On the way back we both felt a bit hungry, so we stopped at a snack bar on the side of the road and got some chips. We sat on the white plastic chairs outside and watched the cars go past, i loved people watching, i was always wondering where they were going, what they were doing, who they were seeing, how they felt. I have such a strong sense of empathy people watching was part of it. If i saw people who were sad i would start thinking of sad moments in my life, if i saw people who were happy, i would start thinking of happy moments in my life, although most of the happy moments in my life were recent and they all had something to do with my chemical romance.

When we were finished and felt quite sick we said goodbye to the person at the snack bar and left, the rest of the way home i kept thinking about how it must feel sitting in a greasy smelly snack bar everyday of your life. It would be nice meeting and seeing new people, great for me and my people watching obsession, but a horrible standard of living, and very unhealthy too.

When we got home i ran straight to the shed to see how Meelix and mason had done with decorating it. They had seen me coming and were waiting outside, they told me to shut my eyes and take their hands, they guided me in it smelt of paint and it felt warm and cosy.

"1, 2, 3, OPEN YOUR EYES!" they both shouted.

I did, and to my surprise it looked amazing one wall was blue and the others were black each with a huge skull and crossbones on it painted with the same blue as the other wall. They had beds made up and also a kitchen area. We were yet to but proper furniture for the shed but already it looked totally awesome i loved it!

I guess things are looking up for me; my life has finally turned around and decided to be kind to me.


	12. Chapter 12

Once we had got some half decent furniture for the shed and some kitchen appliances it felt like a real home, some nights me and gee would stay down there with the others, to have some fun we would watch films and party and the other days me and Gerard would be in the house. At first i slept in the guest room, where i slept the first time i came for the funeral, but after a while i was sharing Gerard's bed with him.

One morning, me and Gerard were in the kitchen having breakfast with KERRANG! Radio playing loudly through the house. Meelix and mason came up to join us too. Whilst we were sat there singing along to the radio there was a knock on the door, i could only just hear it because of all the music and was at the door, my sister was just walking up from the shed, she had slept in late, bob opened his mouth about to say something then he saw her, he walked up to her and she dragged him off to the shed. That was weird; he must have been looking for her. I wonder why?

I shrugged my shoulders and walked back into the kitchen, gee walked over to me and gave me a hug,

"Who was that?"

"Bob, he was gonna say something to me but he saw Velene and went off with her,"

"They seemed to be getting on well at the studio, you don't think they are...ya know..."

I interrupted him,

"What?! Those two? Never!"

"It's not that impossible, people might say that about us"

"Well when you put it like that, i mean we are perfect together!"

"Exactly, let's just leave them for now," he gave me another hug and i nodded. Leaving them really wasn't as long as i expected because as soon as we pulled away from our hug, Bob and Velene burst through the door together, both shouting at the same time, "WE'RE GOING OUT!"

I clapped almost as spastically as before when i found out the shed was big, and gave my sister a massive hug, gee put his arm around Bob and gave him a pat on the back, then we all broke up and i gave gee a hug and Velene and Bob hugged.

What do you know? Gerard was right.

That night we decided to just have everyone round to watch movies and get a bit drunk to celebrate the getting together of people.

We all had a bit too much mead and sloe vodka and jack Daniels and whatever was in the other bottles that we downed. We watched transformers and something else but only about half of it before all finding ourselves space on the floor to sleep for the night.

Me and gee were woken up by a phone call in the morning, i was a bit resistant to wake up so gee answered it, he crawled into the kitchen talking o the phone, i suddenly felt very sick i got up and rushed to the bathroom, i stumbled and hit my head on the seat then threw up, i felt a hand on my back i slowly turned around to see Frankie behind me holding my hair out of the way as i threw up once more. I felt empty then, it was over frank helped me up and i had a sip of water, he helped me back into the kitchen, "someone is a little hung over aren't they." He said with a smirk.

"Oh shut up you!" i said back, i went and put the kettle on, i walked to the doorway of the lounge and yelled, "anyone want any coffee?"

A load of mumbled shouts came firing back at me, "yep!" "Yes please" "chop chop"

I walked back into the kitchen and got a load of mugs out, probably too many but i was sure i could drink whatever there was left.

Gee finally got off the phone and dragged me into the bathroom, i stopped him telling him he didn't want to go in there and we went up to the bedroom. He sat me on the bed with a very serious look on his face.

"The babysitter that has been looking after bandit has recently been taken to jail for car theft, we have to get bandit back before she goes into care,"

"But how are we going to cope with a baby gee?"

"I don't know, but she is my daughter and i want what's best."

"Loving someone is wanting what's best for them, whether it involve you, or not"

"I do love her, but i don't know what to do"

"Neither do i"

We hugged and i heard the kettle click so i gave him a kiss and ran into the kitchen to get some coffee, i gave everyone else, their coffee and went back to the bedroom to see gee asleep on the bed i put a blanket over him and sat in the corner staring at him, i had a feeling my life was about to change, but what i didn't know was whether it was a good change or not.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day i was talking to Meelix about bandit, she suggested adoption but i knew gee probably wouldn't be prepared and when you put your child up for adoption, there is always a chance that you will never see them again i was certain gee wouldn't want that, i just didn't know what he would want.

When the guys came back from the studio i decided to talk to gee to find out what he did want,

"I've been thinking about it all day Evie, i don't want her up for adoption its fucking crazy she's my daughter!" he said. I sat down with him, could we really handle this? A baby? In the house?

"Look Gee, have you thought it through properly? Us, having a baby to look after, seriously?" i asked joining my hand with his.

I heard the door open and turned around to see Meelix stood there she came and sat next to me and gee, i was still holding gee's hand tightly i looked at Meelix blankly what was she doing?

"If you two can't handle a child then i want you to know, i am here for you and i will always be willing to help you and maybe _have_ Bandit for a while."

I looked at gee then quickly back and Meelix, "you mean like instead of putting her up for adoption, you just kind of adopt her?"

"Well yeah but not properly adopt just help you two by having her so many days a week."

"Well if you are sure, but how the fuck can you manage a child if we won't be able to?"

"I won't be on my own, i will have you guys it will be the three of us together, so what do you think?"

I looked at gee, he hadn't said anything in a long time and was sat still as a statue staring at me, and it was starting to creep me out.

"Can you give us a moment Meelix?" i asked, "he seems to be in slight shock"

She laughed and nodded them slowly made her way out of the room. I turned to gee i squeezed his hand as tightly as i could until he let out a slight squeal. He finally blinked and looked around the room like he had just snapped out of a trance, he cleared his throat and whispered, "I think it's a great idea,"

"Really hun?" i whispered back, "you seemed slightly shocked by the idea are you okay? Do you need to some time to think about it?"

"Nope, i will go and ring the social services and arrange a time to collect bandit."

"What? Now? Right now are you sure?"

"Yes of course! You go and tell Meelix and everybody, we will have a party, a celebration, hooray! We could do a Mexican wave or something! You know a...PARTY!" and with that he fainted.

I got up and decided to leave him for a bit i was sure he'd be fine.

Meelix was down in the kitchen getting us some coffee, she knew me too well. I walked up to her smiling.

"What did he say?" she asked.

"Well, he said it was a great idea and he planned a party and a Mexican wave and then he fainted."

"Oh, so..."

"Wait till he comes round, give him some time to think and then see what he says."

"Good idea, coffee?"

"Do you even need to ask?"

"Here you go."

I sat down and drank my coffee, and then i heard some movement upstairs. I ran up the stairs and locked gee in the bedroom then i got a piece of paper and wrote on it:

_**I have locked you in there to give you some time to think, it is a very important decision and after fainting the first time you made this decision i would like you to think long and hard before you make it again. I will come back up later so we can talk. Until then i will be downstairs with Meelix. Love you loads xxx p.s haha i have coffee and you're not getting any!**_

I slid it under the door and left. When i got back downstairs i found Meelix in the lounge, on the sofa kissing someone, what the hell? I squinted my eyes i felt faint, oh great so what was this national fainting day or something? Just before everything went dark i saw who it was she was kissing, it was...frank!


	14. Chapter 14

__________________________________the next day_____________________________________ it turned out Meelix and Frank had been secretly going out for a while, they did a good job of keeping it secret, i didn't suspect a thing and i don't think anyone else did.

Frank had said that he would stay with Meelix and between us; we would bring up Bandit to be an intelligent happy child, things were looking up, we were all going to be parents and i felt, like we could actually pull through this. We celebrated with a movie and some alcohol and decided that we would ring the social services the next morning to organise Bandit's homecoming.

_________________________________the next morning__________________________________

I woke up happy, i felt refreshed and awoke with a cheerful smile on my face, i saw that gee wasn't lying next to me, i glanced at the clock, 7:30, it wasn't like Gee to be up at this time, especially before me, he must have gone to the toilet, i got out of bed with a huge stretch and stomped towards the bathroom, gee wasn't there, i noticed a razor on the sink, covered in blood, frightened i ran downstairs.

Gee was in the kitchen making some coffee so i decided to go and give him a hug, i really needed one, and i guessed he would too. I walked slowly into the kitchen and crept up behind him but as i approached him i saw that he was crying. My whole body filled with empathy and worry, i stood next to him and he turned around to look at me, he wiped his eyes quickly and cleared his throat,

He turned to me and gestured an offering of coffee, in hope that i had no idea that he was crying.

"I can do it myself in a minute thanks," he looked at me, god! His eyes!

Ahhh! I loved him so much at that moment; i grabbed his neck and pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. Soon enough, the kettle clicked and he pulled away to continue with the coffee making, i was angry, what was up with him? Well there was only one way to find out, even if it was a bit weird, i started to walk away from him as if going back out of the room but then suddenly turned around and silently crept up behind him, the kettle was steaming loudly and he didn't hear me kneel down behind him, he turned around coffee in hand, and began to walk, he tripped over me and fell to the floor, luckily neither of us got any boiling hot coffee or sharp china in our eyes but as he filled up with anger, lying on the floor, i pounced on him and yelled,

"What is wrong with you, crying and not telling me what's wrong? Putting a kettle click before a kiss? Self harming Gee, i thought both of us had got over that?! Why won't you just talk to me at least?"

At that moment i saw his eyes fill up with fear and sadness, i felt a horrible feeling in my stomach, guilt rushed through my body like a drug and before i knew it we were lying on the kitchen floor, in each other's arms crying. We were lying there for ages, or at least it felt like it, he still hadn't spoken to me and i still wanted to know what was going on inside his head, i guess my plan didn't work, i got up but he stayed there on the floor, i got a pen and paper and wrote on it

"if you don't want to talk i don't mind,

But i do need to know what's wrong,

Please just tell me,

I love you so much,

Write back xxx"

I threw the paper at him soon followed by the lobbing of a pen. I walked back towards the kettle and poured myself some coffee. He scribbled back on the paper i took a sip of my coffee, it burnt my tongue i put the mug back down and ran to the fridge i licked the coldest thing i could find and slammed the fridge door, i looked down to see gee on the floor crying, as he wrote, his tears dropped onto the paper like broken hearts.

I sat on the floor next to him, he passed me the piece of paper, it was hard to understand what he had written, the ink had bled and his writing was messy. Luckily managed to understand and as my mind processed what i had read, i too burst into tears dropping the paper on the floor. The ink continued to bleed, i watched it through my watery eyes and it read

"Im sorry, i love you too, but....Mikey has cancer"


	15. Chapter 15

"How do you know?"

"This morning i was awoken by an early phone call, it was Mikey, he was crying, told me he had cancer, didn't know how bad it was but he was crying, he was scared Evie, he thought he was going to die, he was panicking"

I pulled gee into a short hug and then helped him up. We were going to get through this, weren't we?

The phone rang, me and gee looked at each other then both glanced at the phone, you could tell we both had all sorts of depressing thoughts rushing around our heads, but we couldn't hide forever, i was considering answering it but before i could move an inch, gee had jumped across the kitchen and answered it.

I drank some more of my coffee, which, hopefully by now was cooled down a bit, the conversation gee was having seemed long, but he looked more excited than upset, i really did wonder who on earth was on the other end of the line, after a few more minutes, gees eyes were lighting up, he said goodbye and placed the phone down carefully and slowly as if it were a special antique, he slowly looked up at me and then screamed with excitement

"We can get Bandit back today!!!!!"

He did a spazzy jumpy thing which scared me a little, but then i joined in and we joined in a spazzy jumpy hug.

"And it is her 1st birthday next week too," he sang with excitement.

"YAY!!! We can have a spazzy jumpy party!"

"Yeahh!"

But pretty soon the excitement stopped as we both remembered Mikey, the smiles wiped off our faces and we pulled away from our hug.

"Do you think we should go and see him?" i asked.

"Why don't we get bandit first? Maybe then it will cheer him up" gee replied; i loved the way he always thought of other people, so sweet.

"Good idea, I'll go and get dressed" i said, and skipped away. I got dressed into my black and red tutu with striped tights and a red vampire top with a ripped black top over it. but then i realised i should maybe change into something more appropriate, something that wouldn't scare the social workers, something that made them think they should hand Bandit to me, i changed into some jeans and kept the red top but put a black jacket on. That was better, i went into the bathroom and put some eyeliner on, i rushed to find some socks and threw on my red converse, and finally I was ready. I went back downstairs and held gees hand as we walked out the door.

"Just a 10 minute drive, and we're gonna be parents!" gee said, i felt nervous, but then something popped into my head

"Shouldn't we contact Frankie and Meelix first?"

"Holy fuck yeah i forgot! U ring them now, I'll drive" so i clambered across to the passenger seat and got my phone to ring Meelix.

They had already heard about Mikey and were at his house, i told them about bandit and we agreed to meet them there and bring some food. I heard Frankie yell "skittles!!" down the phone and took note of this on my hand with a pen that was on the floor, god! Gees car was such a mess but i still loved it.

When we got to the place where bandit was, there were loads of odd looking people, a few recognised gee but i warned them to back off, we had to talk to some random social worker woman for ages but i wasn't listening to anything she was saying. After what felt like a lifetime we finally got to get bandit, we were given a car seat and some other crap that was needed, when i saw her little face i was stunned, she was so beautiful, i felt really bad that her real mum couldn't be here to see her and bring her up, i wiped a tear from my eye and picked her up, gee was crying behind me and i was trying my hardest to hold it in.

We filled in and signed a load of papers and were soon in the car, i saw that i had a missed call on my phone from Mikey's house, i rang back to find that Bob and Velene were also at Mikey's we made our way to Mikey's house, Mason was there with the others and had brought some food but again i heard Frankie yell skittles down the phone so i guessed we should still top at the shop, when we got there i decided to run in and get some stuff so gee could have some time with his daughter alone. I got some drinks (non alcoholic) and a few bags of skittles and some crisps too. Not very healthy but i was starving and i didn't really care.

We got to Mikey's house and he had a great big smile on his face, gee walked in with bandit in his arms and pretty soon everyone had crowded around him staring at bandit with tears in their eyes, everyone apart from Frankie, that was, he happened to have jumped on my back yelling at me for the skittles, i was hardly in the door and he was on my back already, he can get pretty desperate but honestly i couldn't wait for the skittles either. I put the shopping bags down and he jumped off my back and pounced for the shopping bags, he ripped open the skittles and downed about 50. I took a hand full and made my way over to gee

"Alright give them some room, bandit just met us, she doesn't need even more ugly people in her face!" i said, they all gave me a weird look and soon went to fetch some food.

Mikey was crying and hugging Gee, who passed bandit to him, i walked over and hugged gee from behind, he turned and winked at me as we both watched Mikey gazing into bandit's little eyes, she was so beautiful, it must have been so hard for Mikey, i really wanted to talk to him about the cancer thing but i didn't want to do anything to ruin the moment.

A while later i managed to chat with Mikey who was proud to tell me that he didn't actually have cancer, some shitty ass doctor had read his test results wrong and he had a normal illness that he would soon recover from. He had to go to the hospital 3 times a week for treatment but after a month or two he should be fine, i was so happy to hear this, i ran over to gee and told him, he let out a massive sigh of relief which was soon interrupted by a load of skittles getting poured into his mouth, i smiled, things were great at the moment.

___________________________________bandit's 1st birthday_______________________________

I woke up at about 9, it was Bandit's first birthday and i was really excited, i went and made some coffee and then brought some up to gee, he was awake when i go up there, making a list of things we needed for the party, it was weird seeing him so organised, i gave him his coffee, kissed his forehead and made my way to the spare room where Meelix and Frank were staying with my tray of coffees, they were both awake and sat in bed watching power rangers on the awesomely small TV that we installed in the spare room. They took their coffees and said good morning, and then i heard something stirring in Bandits room,

"ooh sounds like the bandit has awoken" i chuckled, they laughed and i made my way through to bandit who was sleeping in our room, i shouted to gee but he must have gone to the toilet because he didn't respond and when i entered our room, he wasn't there.

I looked down at Bandit, who was rubbing her eyes with her fat, baby hands,

"this is your first birthday bandit, you don't know what it means yet, but in a couple of years today you will, and no doubt you will be energetic and excited and hyper, almost as hyper and uncle Frankie and Meemee."

That's the name we gave Meelix, bandit could talk a bit but not much, she struggled with pronouncing the 'x' so we called Meelix Meemee, she loved Meelix, and Meelix was great with her, for a while i thought this whole 4 parents thing wouldn't work, i thought it would be awkward and weird, but it was great! We were all enjoying it so much, bandit adored Frankie too! She thought he was hilarious, and me and gee, we are coping well, and couldn't love him more!

Everyone else arrived at our house at around half past 10, Velene and Bob were on their way but they got caught in traffic. Mikey arrived without a cake, i was worried,

"Mikey! Where the hell is the cake?" i screamed.

"Oohhhhh shiiiiit! I might have forgotten, silly me" he laughed, but he stop laughing when he saw how angry i was.

"You dumbass! I'll have to ring Velene and see if they can pick it up on their way, u numpty!" i calmed down, slightly and went to fetch the phone.

Everyone was in the lounge, gee was feeding bandit some breakfast, she was getting it all over his face but he didn't seem to mind, they were having fun, i scanned the room, everyone was smiling and laughing and happy, just how i liked it.

I dialled Velene's number, after a few rings she answered,

"Hey Velene, are you driving?"

"Yeah but bobs asleep, i can talk; i don't want to wake him up."

"Are you sure? It's not really safe,"

"Yes I'll be fine."

"Okay, can i ask you a massive favour?"

"Yeah sure, go for it!"

"Could you pick up, bandit's cake please, numpty-bum Mikey forgot?!"

"Umm, i suppose, i could, we'd have to take a few country lanes though, the traffic is a terror!"

"If you don't mind..."

"No that's fine, anything for little bandit, I'm sure anyone would die for her, she's such a sweetheart!"

"Thank you, see you in a bit"

"Oh how is Mikey by the way?" Velene asked, she was now going through the country roads; they were very windy, with lots of gates on the sides leading into massive green fields where cows, sheep, horses and even llamas grazed in the fields, happily watching the days go by.

"umm yeah he's fine actually, coping well, he's still so happy that he doesn't have cancer, it killed us when he told us that he did, we were all so relieved to hear that he didn't ."

"Yeah, i mean we all love him so much, he's like everyone's little broth..."

she stopped, i heard crashes and bags and wheels screeching, my heart stopped, i heard screaming and shouting, i head smashing, i was sweating, scared i asked, i asked, i needed a response, she's my fucking sister! I asked, and asked

"VELENE, ARE YOU OKAY? ANSWER ME! CAN YOU HEAR ME? VELENE? BOB? TALK TO ME? ARE YOU THERE?"

Soon the crashing and smashing broke to a silence, i heard the phone drop and then i lost connection.

"Velene?"


	16. Chapter 16

I dropped the phone to the floor, i burst into tears, people rushed over to me, but i couldn't speak, i just fell to the floor, and blacked out. the only thing i could say, well, ask, when i awoke was "Velene?" i asked repeatedly waiting for a response, "I'll wait right here, you'll come back, and you will find me here, I'll wait as long as i need to, a week, a month , a mother fucking lifetime Velene! Come back, I'll be here, waiting..."

_______________________________________at the accident___________________________

The whole front of the tractor was smashed to pieces, and the whole right-side of the car was crushed, bob was okay, he had been knocked out by the head injury and wasn't moving so it looked more serious. As for Velene, she had been crushed by the tractor hitting and practically bending the car into a 'v' shape. She also had sustained major head injuries and her leg was trapped between two sharp metal parts.

"it seems" started the police officer, "that they were driving through these country roads and the tractor probably didn't see them or the car driver wasn't concentrating on the road, either way the tractor pulled out of the field gate, right into the side of the car, the driver has been rushed to hospital but it isn't looking good, passenger, sustained minor head injuries and has also been taken to hospital, is there anything you know that you would like to tell us?" he asked me down the phone line, i still wasn't talking much but i managed to say something,

"The phone, we spoke, Mikey's fine, he's happy, get the cake, country roads, crashing, crashing, I'm waiting... I'M WAITING!"

The police man officer seemed to somewhat understand me and told me where i could find my sister in the hospital. I grabbed my coat and left, i refused for anyone to come with me, i just left, left gee, left bandit, left Meelix, left Mikey. Just left.

I got to the hospital and asked the receptionist where the Gwithian unit was, she pointed me the right way, i ran straight to bob, a nurse was just finishing stitching up his head, he had come round in the ambulance, when he was finished we were allowed to go o me and bob ran to the emergency unit to see Velene in a cubicle, with machines and monitors and doctors and nurses and beeping and shouting. What started as a "beep beep beep beep beep beep" soon turned into a "." I shed a tear, and leaned into bob, he was trying to hold in his tears, for Velene's sake, but he was failing and had to let it out.

"Time of death 12:47." Said the doctor, me and bob, stood there, outside the cubicle crying.

This couldn't be real, was this real life? Was it really happening to me? I guess she really meant it when she said she would die for bandit, she proved that, i shouldn't have asked her to get the cake, i should've hung up rather than continuing our conversation, she was driving.

I killed her? i....killed...her? i fucking killed her! Shit! Was i gonna get charged for murder? Did i just murder my sister? For a birthday cake that we never even got? For a child, who isn't even my own?!

I burst into tears and pulled away from bob, i ran out of the hospital, i could hardly see where i was going, my eyes were so full up with tears, i didn't know where i was going but i got into the car and drove, just drove and kept driving.


	17. Chapter 17

I soon came to a bridge; it was the biggest bridge in town. It wasn't very busy, there were very few cars casually passing by. I parked the car up partly on the pavement and got out. I walked over to the edge, there were railings and warning signs, i stepped back off the pavement when a family walked past. There was a mum, a baby boy in a push chair and two sisters, the mum was shouting at the sisters to walk sensibly and hold hands but they didn't want to, they preferred to argue over who had the longest hair or who was tallest or who had the coolest shoes. I laughed quietly to myself as they walked past; all sorts of memories came rushing back into my head. Me and Velene were always like that. Arguing was more fun than playing, unless, of course you lost an argument, but then you would be thinking of another silly thing to argue over next.

I shed a few tears they ran down my face, away from my eyes, the eyes that were full of sadness, missed memories, shattered hopes, i didn't blame the tears for running, sometimes i wished i could just run away, from the sadness, and shattered hopes.

I looked ahead there was a lamppost, covered in leaflets and flyers, one particular flyer caught my eye, i began to walk over, i couldn't read half of the writing, it was all blurred, probably from the tears, filling up my eyes. But then i felt dizzy, and faint, i put my arm out as if to steady myself, to keep my balance, but it was too late, i fell. I heard the little girl's voices crowd over me as everything slowly began to fade....fade....until everything was black, dark and quiet.

I woke up, my hand on my head, i was moaning, i didn't know where i was, i looked around, i couldn't see any familiar faces, i was scared, i tried to sit up but when i did, i began to get faint again, so i slowly lowered myself back down. I looked to my right, the two sisters, were lying next to me.

"You know, i think she has nicer shoes than both of us" said one

I looked down to me dirty green converse, then to the shoes on the girls' little feet, pink and flowery, wouldn't be my first choice, but i suppose they were okay.

"And i like her hair better too!" she continued

"Yes, i want my hair like that, when I'm older." The other replied

I lifted a hand to my messy short hair, i flattened my fringe and looked up and the black and red mess. Again i was surprised as i gazed at their hair, blonde curls all clean and shiny.

I looked around at the crowd, there were quite a few people gathered around me, for such a quiet bridge. I was breathing heavily, in panic. Until i finally saw a familiar face... Gee walked over and did a sort of power-slide down to me. He looked into my eyes, and took hold of my hand. I sat up, i got a little head rush but need to hug Gee. I felt better now he was with me. He helped me up, he brushed all the dirt off me with his hand a kissed me.

I knelt down to the two little girls, i whispered to one

"I like your shoes the best." And then turned to the other

"And i like your hair the best."

They both looked pleased, and waved goodbye as i walked off with gee, he seemed worried

"Why the hell were you on a bridge?"

"I just..."

"And why did you leave home in such a panic, we were all worried about you, bandit was crying, you know how she gets when you leave her."

"I'm sorry gee, it's just...Velene's dead"

"Oh my god, I'm sorry, i...was that who....the phone?"

"yes and bob has stitches but he's fine, we have to go back to the hospital, i can't stand to go back in that place, urm ring bob and tell him to wait outside we can pick him up and then go home."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm fin.....arghhh!"

I grabbed my stomach in pain, i almost cried.

"Urm Evie, when was the last time you ate?" gee asked me, with a concerned tone of voice.

"I don't remember...Ahhh!" i cried again.

"Right, we will pick bob up, get some goddamn food, and then go home"

"Okay."

"Can you drive okay?"

"Yes fine."

"Okay, I'll follow you back to the hospital, i don't know these roads very well, and then i can keep an eye on you as well."

"okay." I replied as i got back into my car, i wound down the window, i needed the fresh air, and I put my seat belt on and took a deep breath before starting up the engine and pulling away.


	18. Chapter 18

"3 weeks had passed and i was still blaming myself for my sister's death, i felt like this was a dream before, and in the space of a few weeks it had turned into my worst nightmare. Me and gee weren't communicating much lately and i only had bob to talk to, we both loved Velene so much, we knew that only the two of us could truly understand each other. I was feeling more suicidal with each day and i didn't know what i wanted or needed anymore, everything i had built, i had destroyed, i wished i could go back, to the crash, 'i should've hung up the phone, i should've told her to concentrate on the road, i should've told her to hand over to bob, but i didn't, therefore it's all my fault' that's all i used to think to myself, maybe i was right, maybe i was wrong, i could never be sure, but that's when i wrote this song, i just put all my honest heart and feelings into one song and somehow managed to create a masterpiece, that's how everything in life should work, from the heart."

"Wow, that was an amazing story, thank you Evie" the interviewer said, placing her hand on her heart, as if she had truly been touched by my story.

"No, thank YOU for listening and for helping me to get it all off my chest." I replied, actually feeling a lot better.

You see after the accident, and my time on the bridge with those kids, i needed to get it all out so i wrote a song; it helped me express my feelings and get back into the driver's seat of my life. But i needed a way of releasing my song for the world to hear, and love, and to help them express their emotions too. So, me, Meelix and mason, with some help from frank and bob, started up a band, we are called, "life on my death bed" and we are now working on an album. I know it's a bit of a rush of events but it felt so right, and it was something i felt i needed to do.

**Sometimes life seems too quiet  
Into paralyzing silence  
Like the moonless dark  
Meant to make me strong**

Familiar breath of my old lies  
Changed the colour in my eyes  
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

Sorrow lasts through this night  
I'll take this piece of you  
And hope for all eternity  
For just one second I felt whole  
As you flew right through me

Left alone with only reflections of the memory  
To face the ugly girl that's smothering me  
Sitting closer than my pain  
He knew each tear before it came  
Soon He will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

And we kiss each other one more time  
And sing this lie that's halfway mine  
The sword is slicing through the question  
So I won't be fooled by his angel light

Sorrow lasts through this night  
I'll take this piece of you  
And hope for all eternity  
For just one second I felt whole  
As you flew right through me  
And up into the stars

Joy will come

**Sometimes life seems too quiet  
Into paralyzing silence  
Like the moonless dark  
Meant to make me strong  
**  
it was a rather cold Friday evening,me, Meelix, Mason, Frank, Gee, Bob and Mikey were at mine and Gee's watching the goonies.

"Let's have nachos!" Meelix yells, waking everyone up.

"Now that's worth getting up for!" smiled Mason.

"Hell yeah!" i replied, whilst struggling to help gee up, he was so lazy.

We were all in the kitchen whilst M n' M were getting the nachos ready, gee walked over to me and held my hand, i leaned back into him, my ear on his warm chest as his heart beat, he lowered his head until it was resting on my shoulder, he swayed us back and forth whispering the words to happy birthday into my ear. I pulled away slightly, but he kept a tight grip of my hand, i was now facing him, i raised an eyebrow, "it isn't my birthday yet" i sighed.

"Oh really?" he replied cheekily, his eyes directing towards the clock on the oven, mine slowly following, 00:01, wow i guess it was my birthday then.

Still holding gee's hand i jumped up and down excitedly; i couldn't hold it in any longer,

"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!" i yelled, it gave Mason a shock and she dropped the bowl of nachos all over the floor, she looked slightly angry but when her brain processed what i had just yelled into her ear, she just laughed and began to jump up and down with me.

"Want to just go out and get some food?" Mikey asked.

"C'mon then guys." Meelix said whilst running over to the banister to retrieve her coat. I grabbed my jacket, it wasn't gonna keep me very warm but i was too excited to care. I was just walking out the door, when gee ran back into the lounge to turn the TV off. I stopped and watched him, his cute little ass moving as he ran into the lounge, followed by his cute little face smiling as he ran back, i put my hand out and he immediately grabbed it, shutting the door with the other one.

"You gonna be warm enough?" he asked, looking concerned.

"Probably not." I smiled; he smiled too but then took off his hoody and gave it to me.

"But now you're gonna be cold you numpty!" i said.

"tough, if i do, i know you love that hoody, you won't give it back to me if i get hypothermia!" he joked, but it was true i did love his hoody, it smelt of him and it was comfy and warm, i never wanted to give it back.


	19. Chapter 19

The news had finally arrived, and on my birthday! MCR were going on tour and we were joining them! This had to be the best birthday ever, the only problem was that it was a really long tour and we had to start right away. Next week in fact.

"I'm really nervous Gee," i said. It was just hitting me that next week i would be on tour with my favourite band, with my boyfriend, with my own band, i never thought this would actually happen, just a month ago i was playing my song to my mates. Now look at me, i had an amazing boyfriend who had got me on tour with him.

"It's okay, you'll be fine, you are amazing and i love you," he replied, squeezing me into a hug.

"Gerard?" I asked,

"Yeah, what honey?" he said, with one sexy eyebrow rose. I loved it when he did that.

"Can karma go wrong?" i asked, he looked confused now.

"I don't know babe, what do you mean?" he asked, letting go of me, but soon catching me as i leaned back, our hands linked, and i looked into his eyes.

"Because, i had the shittiest childhood, but i found you, then i killed my sister, and now I'm having my dream of being in a band come true." I sighed, "It just...makes no sense."

His eye gradually lowered and he took in a deep breath, "you didn't kill your sister, and it isn't your fault that you had a shitty-ass childhood, you're older now and karma wants to repay you for all the bad things it had given you, you did nothing to deserve the bad things that happened to you, but they still happened, karma isn't wrong for giving you these good things now, it's wrong for giving you those bad things then."

"i guess you're right, thanks hun, Ooh i have a surprise for you" i said, grabbing his hand and leading him into the kitchen, there was a box on the table, he opened it and pulled out a t-shirt, "wow, a 'life on my death bed' top!" he said smiling. "I'm guessing you want me to wear this on stage?" he asked.

I walked over to him and started playing with the toggles on his hoody, "i wouldn't mind." I said with a cheeky grin, "why don't you try it on?" i asked.

"Okay," he said walking over to the bathroom.

"Urmmm where you going? Try it on in here, i want to see how you look in it."

"I think you mean, you want to see how i look when I'm not in it, catch my drift?"

"Indeed i do, now take your top off!" i said smiling, he took his hoody off and threw it at me, doing a dorky sexy dance, i giggled. "You're such a goon!"

"Ahaa but you love it!" he said

"Hell yes i do!" i said as he picked up his new top to put on. I pulled it out of his hand and threw it on the bad as i walked up to him and kissed him, "you know, you don't look too bad topless,"

"Oh why thank you, i thought i was rather sexy myself."

"Oh you vain little shit." I laughed, and then kissed him again, my hands touching his warm topless skin.

"okay now enough touching, let me try out this top" he said, i backed away picking the top up off the bed and throwing it to him, he put it on, perfect fit, it looked amazing too!

"Who did the artwork?"

"Me, i designed it myself" i smiled; he smiled back, looking really impressed.

"You know, i would love to wear this on stage," he said

"Good, because you'd better!"

"Okay okay, calm down, i will"

"Brilliant, now can we continue?"

"Continue what?" he asked as i walked over to him.

"This" i whispered as i placed my hands on his shoulders and kissed him.

"Hmmm, let me think...okay!" he said.

_________________________5 days later___________________________________

We were packing reading to leave to start the tour the next day, we had MCR's tour bus and we had bought a decent sized van for LOMDB. I had ordered a few boxes of t-shirts to try and sell, i knew we wouldn't have much difficulty selling them if gee wore one on stage.

"Evie!" gee shouted downstairs to me.

"Yesss!??" i yelled back

"Where's my hoody?"

I ran upstairs, i was wearing his hoody i took it off as i entered the room, hiding it behind my back, "have you checked the bathroom?" i asked, and he ran out the room into the bathroom. Mikey came up stairs behind me.

"What you doing?" he asked

"Gee's looking for his hoody."

"You mean the one you're holding?" he asked

I laughed, "That would be the one."

"You cheeky little retard!" he laughed, gee ran back in out of breath.

"Not...in...The...bathroom...hey Mikey!"

"Ohh umm maybe you'd better look downstairs" i said, trying not to laugh.

"Okay then." He said jogging down the stairs.

"Run forest run!" i yelled laughing,

"Fuck off, you could help me find it" he replied

"Too busy!" i yelled, "Quick Mikey where should i shove this?"

"Umm i know, hang it on the bathroom door" he said smiling, "that'll really piss him off"

I got a hanger and hung it on the handle of the bathroom door. Then me and Mikey got my bags and made our way downstairs, gee was still running around like a looney trying to find his hoody. I laughed as i walked out the door and threw my bags into the van, Mikey helping me, well, with the light bags, i had all the heavy ones.

I heard Gerard scream in frustration from upstairs. "I think he found It." i said, Mikey shook his head and chuckled slightly.

Gee came running out with his bags, his hoody hung over his shoulder

"Oh you found it then?" i asked giggling as he chucked his bags in the pile of MCR's stuff.

"Yeah funny that isn't it?" he said, i walked over and gave him a hug, then pinched the hoody off his shoulder and ran round the back of the van putting it on. He chased after me and tried to take it off me,

"We're gonna be in different vehicles, i won't have you to hug, can i keep this? Pleeeease? I asked."

"Fine then!" he said.

The bus pulled up and bob and ray loaded up all of MCR's stuff, "hey where's Frankie i asked?"

Just then Frankie cam running down the road, "Don't leave without me!" he screamed

"Hey Frankie where have you been?" i asked,

"I have 29 packets of skittles and a hell of a lot of coffee!"

"Great!" i said taking about 15 packs of skittles and 6 cups of coffee off him. I then gave gee a hug and climbed into our van with M n' M, Gee got on the bus, and we left.


	20. Chapter 20

We had been on tour for only a few days and already we had done several amazing shows and managed to get rather a lot of fans. It was actually going pretty well. Me and gee were getting on better than ever and having an awesome time.

_Things are looking up, oh finally!  
I thought I'd never see the day when you smile at me.  
We always pull through  
oh when we try,  
I'm always wrong but you're never right.  
Oh, you're never right!_

Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?  
I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this!  
It's not a dream anymore! Noo Ohhh...  
It's not a dream anymore! It's worth fighting for.

Could have given up so easily  
I was a few cheap shots away from the end of me  
Taken for granted, almost everything that I would have died for  
just yesterday,  
just yesterday

honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?  
I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this!  
It's not a dream anymore! Ohhh...  
It's not a dream anymore! It's worth fighting for.

God knows the world doesn't need another band, (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)  
But what a waste it would've been! (Whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)  
I can't believe we almost hung it up (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)  
We're just getting started (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)

Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?  
I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this!  
It's not a dream anymore! Ohhh..  
It's not a dream anymore! Ohhh..

_It's not a dream anymore! Ohhh.._

_It's not a dream anymore! It's worth fighting for._

I can't believe we almost hung it up (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)  
We're just getting started (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)  
I can't believe we almost hung it up (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)  
We're just getting started  
Yeah! We're just getting started.

"hey, you ready for tonight?" gee asked me, jogging up to me as i sat on the pavement outside the bus drinking a coffee.

"umm, yeah i think i might just be, I'm gonna need some more of this though, and maybe some of that" i said, looking down at the coffee in my hand and then pointing at the bottle in his hand.

"this isn't for me, it's for Mikey, he's feeling under the weather after, well you know..."

"yeah, you know, i can't believe that the hospital made yet another mistake, just when they give him the all clear, he finds out that they made a mistake and he has..." i burst into tears. Mikey really did have cancer. And he wasn't going to get better from it either, the hospital gave him 2 months, at the most.

We decided to carry on with the tour, and act as normal as possible for all the fans. It was gonna be hard but we all knew it was what Mikey wanted and we didn't want to disappoint him at this terrible time.

Gee go on the bus with the bottle and threw his keys on the table, he slammed the bottle down on the table, i followed him in. He let out a big sigh. I walked up and hugged him.

"i wuv you!"

"i wuv you too" he smiled, i kissed him and his hands ran down my back and around my waist.

"get a room sickos!" Frankie yelled, Meelix holding his hand as she got on the bus. We all sat down and played call of duty for a while, Meelix walked into the kitchen, "I'm getting a drink!" she yelled, we all just relied on the "mehh" response and continued to play. Soon after Frankie got up and casually followed her into the kitchen.

"10 bucks says they're in there making out!" gee said

"You're on" i said. I crept up to the kitchen door and peered in, dammit! They were in their making out.

I got a 10 dollar note out my misfits wallet and handed it over to gee, who smiled and winked as i did.

"Our turn" he smiled

"huh?"

He grabbed me and kissed me, he put one hand around my neck as the other one shoved the note into his back pocket, i tripped over the pile of cushions we had all been sat on and dragged gee down with me. he laughed as he fell on top of me, i put my hand in his back pocket, pinching his butt

"ooh!" he said cheekily raising one eyebrow.

I grabbed the 10 bucks back out his pocket and gripped it firmly as i rolled on top of him. I placed my hand over his mouth, just as he was about to kiss me.

"pay back!" I screamed as i elbowed him in the nuts and ran off with the money.

Okay maybe that was a bit mean, i thought to myself. I put the money back into my pocket as i walked off the bus. I ran down the road and across the street into star bucks, i looked behind me, gee was following me grabbing his balls in pain, reaching his hand out as he fell to the ground.

I chuckled to myself, i ordered two coffees, and paid with the 10 bucks in my pocket.

I walked out and gee was crouched against the wall outside lighting a cigarette.

"Got you some coffee" i smiled.

"Gee thanks, that will make my balls better" he said sarcastically.

I sat down next to him stirring my coffee.

"That's one injury i aren't looking forward to kissing better" i joked

"You don't mean that! You want to kiss my balls"

"Ha yeah right!" i laughed, "Maybe Frankie does but not me!"

"Maybe Frankie does what?" Frankie said as he walked up to us with Meelix, who was eyeing up my coffee.

"Maybe you want to kiss gee's balls"

"Hell yeah" he said, giving gee a wink, me and Meelix looked at each other, i looked behind her at mason who was walking up the road, ray following her

"What is this? Some kind of social gathering?" i said as i got up and walked towards them.

"Hey" mason said just as gee's phone began to ring behind us, we both turned around to see gee in tears. I ran up to him, the other crowded around,

"Okay, I'll be right there" gee said, trying to hold in the tears.

"That was bob, Mikey's been rushed into hospital, he collapsed and went unconscious when he was shopping with bob. I'm going to the hospital, i want to go by myself, or it will be too crowded, i'll ring you guys after i get there, to inform you of the situation." He said, and with that he walked off down the road, towards the buses, and got into our hire car.

I was in pure shock, c'mon Mikey, two months, two fucking months!


	21. Chapter 21

The rest of us got to the hospital gee was outside wiping his eyes with his t-shirt and getting a cig he placed it between his lips as he felt around for a lighter, his eyebrows lifted and his eyes squinted slightly as the sun shined down directly where he was stood.

He obviously couldn't find a lighter as he took the cig back out of his mouth and held it between his fingers. He sat on the ground and looked down at the cigarette. I crossed the road and approached him, pulling his lighter out of my pocket; he had dropped it as he got in the car outside the buses. I knelt down in front of him and lit it. He raised his hand until his cig was lit then took a smoke. He looked up at my face, everything was so silent, i cleared my throat and took a deep breath in, he did the same, and we both went to speak at the same time. I stopped and laughed to myself.

"You go, i don't mind."

"Nahh you go, you got something to say," he replied. Looking down again.

"You know what I'm gonna say,"

"That i do, say it anyway." He said, looking back up at me. I began to get butterflies, i was getting a sense that i knew what he was gonna say too.

"Well, how's Mikey?" i asked trying to force a smile.

"Not good" he choked, shaking his head.

"What d'ya mean?" i asked.

"Mr. Way?" i heard a nurse shout, we both looked up at her.

"Umm yeah?" gee replied, his hand shading his eyes from the sun.

Such a beautiful day, but not at all appropriate for what we were about to hear.

"Your brother's turned un conscious, he might not have long left, you must come quickly now." She said, my throat felt heavy. The butterflies were back, and they were mental.

We both got up and ran. The others ran after us, they stayed in the waiting room outside of the room, but me and gee went in. Mikey was lying cold and still. My mind went blank, all i could hear were the beeps of machines and shouting doctors, gee next to me trying not to cry, he wanted to stay strong, for Mikey, i wanted to as well, but i just couldn't cope. The beeps got louder. And they eventually turned into one long, constant beeeeeeeeeeep. The doctors gave up and looked over to me and gee,

"I'm sorry" the doctor said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!" screamed gee, i turned to him and cried into his shoulder, he hugged me tighter than he'd ever hugged anyone. I grabbed his head with my hands and looked into his watering eyes; i pulled his head into my neck, as he continued to cry. We just stood there hugging and crying together, everyone outside had heard/seen everything, they all began to hug and cry, i looked out the window at everyone. Then i tried to pull away from me and gee's hug, i looked over to Mikey, i saw Gerard turn and pick something up then place it in his pocket. I turned back to him as he quickly took his hand back out of his pocket and looked up at me. He pulled me back into a hug as we both began to cry again.

_**Now come one, come all to this tragic affair  
Wipe off that makeup - What's in his despair?  
So throw on the black dress  
Mix in with the lot  
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not**_

If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see  
You can find out first-hand what it's like to me  
So gather 'round piggies and kiss this goodbye  
I'd encourage your smiles  
I'll expect you won't cry

Another contusion, my funeral jag  
Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag  
You've got front row seats to the penitence ball  
When I grow up I want to be nothing at all!  
I said

YEAH! YEAH! I SAID-YEAH! YEAH!

C'mon C'mon C'mon I said  
Save Me!  
Get me the hell out of here  
Save Me!  
Too young to die and my dear  
You Can't!  
If you can hear me just walk away and  
Take Me!

He was gone. Mikey was gone. It was the end. There was nothing we could do. He had gone. Cancer had got the best of him.

We were all given a moment with him, to say our famous last words, he couldn't hear us but it still felt like he could. I got a pen out of my bag and picked up his arm. I held back the tears as i wrote "so long and goodnight" on his arm. I placed his arm back down. And put the pen back in my bag, changing my mind i left it on the table beside the bed. It was his now. I took a minute to examine him, lying pale and still in the bed it still didn't feel real but i knew i had to say something.

"i'm gonna miss you Mikey, we all are, i won't be able to drink another cup of coffee without thinking of you, i won't be able to buy a new pair of glasses without thinking of you, i will never look at hair straighteners or hair gel in the same way again. You have inspired me and hundreds of other people, you are a hero, and not the only hero, poor Gerard, this will change his life forever, you two were so close, always had been, more than brothers, best friends for fuck sake, he just lost his brother and his best friend in the same day. But I'm gonna promise you now, i will look after him, no matter what, i love you Mikey, you will never be forgotten, you have changed the world and a lot of people in it. I'm proud of you, and now i must leave you in peace to look down at everything you've achieved. Well done, and goodbye. I got up and kissed his forehead. Brushing his hair out of his face, i walked towards the door and looked back, i smiled.

"Goodbye Mikey" i shed a few tears, gee hugged me as soon as i closed the door. Ray came back from the gift shop with a rose,

"Do you mind if i..." he pointed towards the door.

"No, not at all, go in, i warn you though, it's hard."

"That's alright," he smiled, "i think i got this one planned," he took a piece of paper out of his pocket, and walked slowly and quietly into Mikey's room.

GERARD:

I let go of Evie, i wiped the tears off her face and back away

"I'm just gonna go to, the uhh toilet." I said wiping my eyes, then scratching my chin as i walked off.

I got into the toilets, it was empty. Perfect. I took a knife out of my pocket; i had picked it up just after Mikey died.

I took a deep breath in "this one's for you Mikey." I said as i rolled up my sleeve and slashed the knife at my arm, blood trickled down my arm. The pain felt good, but it seemed to bleed more than i had expected. The blood poured out more and more quickly each second. Before i knew it, my whole arm was covered in blood, i felt faint and fell to the floor. I screamed in pain, as i closed my eyes.

EVIE:

I looked around at all the disturbing paintings on the walls, no wonder people died in this place, it was so depressing.

"I think I'm gonna go pee too." Bob said walking towards the men's toilet. The door rushed open before it had even finished closing; bob ran out, breathing heavily,

"Help, it's Gerard!" he yelled, we all ran.


	22. Chapter 22

Listen to 'all i wanted' by paramore for the beginning of this chappie guys! And maybe 'remembering Sunday' by all time low as well.

I sat on the chair next to gee's bed. He was alive, thankfully, but he had bandages up his arm. I stared into his eyes as they gazed at the screen of the TV. We all knew why he did it. Him and Mikey were so close, but we all needed to stay strong, i felt like the only one who could understand how gee was feeling, i lost my sister and now he lost his brother. I loved him so much, i couldn't lose him too.

I had been in his room for over an hour now and not once had he looked at me, neither of us had said anything to each other, this must have been the longest awkward silence in the history of the earth, this silence was so fucking awkward, we didn't even think about how many gay babies were being born, i just stared at him in disbelief, i guess he felt guilty, hurting himself like that, I'm not saying he's selfish but i needed him more than ever, and all he does is try to leave.

I was getting bored now and had come to a conclusion that he didn't want to talk, i got up out of my seat and started to walk towards the door, he cleared his throat just as i opened the door,

"I love you"

I felt a lump in my throat, like i was gonna choke to death, i turned to him and took a deep breath

"That's great hun, but next time, don't try to kill yourself, and then i can be sure than you really want me."

He turned towards the window, trying to cover up the tears that formed in his eyes.

I walked out the door and shut it forcefully. Frank was in the kitchen eating skittles and ripping up paper,

"You're gonna get ill if you eat too many of those things," i said, forcing a smile.

"Its comfort food, Evie, you should try it" he sighed.

"I'm alright thanks, Frankie."

"So, you were in there for almost 2 hours, did you sort things out?"

"Nope, he didn't look at me for over an hour, and all he said was 'i love you'"

"That's good isn't it?"

"Fuck no Frankie! My reply was more bitchy than an LA bimbo, i made him cry, and probably just made everything worse, what am i gonna do? He's been in that goddamn room for days! He won't eat, he won't talk and all he does is watching TV." I said, almost busting into tears.

Frankie walked over and hugged me, it was days like this that i wish i was back at home with my family, i know they didn't love me much but there's something special about family, even though mcr were like my second family, it just could never be quite the same.

"Hey, its valentine's day tomorrow, maybe he'll surprise you, just remember that he loves you,"

"I doubt it, I've had too many nasty surprises lately, i love him too, and I just need him more than he may think"

"Then go in that room and tell him that you crazy woman! There's no point crying about it to me, the retarded midget who's high on skittles, how is that gonna help? You need to let him know that you love him and need him!"

Frankie can make me laugh at the most upsetting times, and this time the retarded midget was right, i got up and walked back into gee's room he was sat there on the bed crying, his hands on his head, running roughly through his hair. I ran up to him and literally jumped on the bed on top of him, he looked at me with his warm watery eyes. I kissed him, my hands round his neck, as we lay together on the bed,

"I love you, and i need you, i was angry, but i know how hard it is for you. The difficulty of losing Mikey is unreal, but we have each other at least. Now there is a midget in our kitchen that hasn't moved for 3 days and has eaten nothing but skittles claiming that they are comfort food, but i think the real comfort h needs is you and me and a movie. We can forget what you did, and try to relax. What do you think? Can you do this? For me? For Frankie?"

"i love you so much, and it does sound tempting, and i think i can do this, because i know a certain midget and a certain beautiful girl who i think deserve to watch a movie and have a great evening with a messed up mother fucker who loves them both"

"I agree, but i think i should be the one to break it to Frankie that you think he's a beautiful girl"

"you cheeky little shit!" he shouted as i ran out the room to Frankie he was holding a bowl full of skittles and a drink, about to make him way to the lounge, i skidded across the floor and crashed into him, he dropped his drink all over me and the skittles went everywhere.

"Oh shit, sorry" he laughed

"You, you penis! Look what you did!"

"Look what i did? You're the one who crashed onto me!" i laughed as i rugby tackled him. And sat on him. Gee walked in and we both looked at him.

"What the fuck happened here?"

"Urm we had an accident" i smiled, "oh fuck i have a skittle down my bra!" i yelled

"Charming love!" gee laughed as i got up and started spazzing around to get the skittle out of my bra.

But then gee tripped over on the skittles, dragging me down with him, the three of us lay on the kitchen floor covered in skittles and drink. This was how it was supposed to be. Funny things happening for us to remember for years to come and look back on and laugh about. Meelix and mason walked in the door and burst into laughter as they saw us.

"Holy shit, that's one messy threesome you've got going on there guys!" mason laughed.

I held my hand out to Meelix, "skittle?" i asked her, she picked it up out of my hand and put it in her mouth, me and Frankie started to giggle,

"What have you done to it?" she asked

"Oh nothing, it just went down my bra!" i couldn't stop laughing now, she spat it out and threw it at me.

"I brought a movie guys!" Meelix shouted over the laughter, getting the goonies DVD out of her bag.

"Perfect" i smiled.


	23. Chapter 23

I woke up the next morning and looked around, everyone else was asleep, either on the couch or on the floor, or in Frankie's case, half on the couch and half on the floor, he didn't look comfortable, his face was just squashed into the floor.

I slowly stood up and rubbed my eyes, then i realised that today was Valentine's Day; i remembered that a while back i had bought a heart-shaped frying pan so i made everyone some heart-shaped pancakes. As i cooked them i turned the TV on and put it on kerrang! TV, mcr came on and i sang along...badly!

Frankie came sprinting into the kitchen,

"Do i smell pancakes?" he asked, drooling.

"Yes you do frankles, now go wake up everyone else so we can eat." I said. He looked up at the TV and quivered, i forgot how weird it must be to see and hear you on TV. I laughed as he ran back into the living room, i heard a loud...

"Bombs away!!" followed by a loud 'THUD' and then an even louder "get off me Frankie I'm awake!"

That was gee awake, and probably everyone else judging by the noise level. They all came waddling into the kitchen looking like zombies, but their faces soon lit up when they saw the huge plate of pancakes.

"Where's ray and bob these days?" i asked.

"Ray's been looking after bandit, and has found a new girlfriend, she's called Mel." Mason said

"Whaaaaat?" we all gasped, "How did all that suddenly happen?" i asked

"I know, it all happened so fast. It was gonna be a surprise for you two, getting bandit back and he met Mel a week or two ago, and now they're dating. Sorry to ruin the surprise, but now you know. Hey we should ring him and get everyone over here for a party." Mason said with a smile, a smile that soon faded as she gazed over to gee.

"But it won't be a happy fucking party, will it? How can you guys all be so cheerful, my brother, your best friend has died and all you can do, is plan parties and ruin surprises?! I'm not ready to have bandit back! How could you do this to me? What the fuck were you thinking?" gee screamed, before running back up to his room and slamming several doors on the way.

I looked around, everyone was just sat there in shock, and even Frankie had managed to go a few seconds without shoving pancake in his mouth, just long enough to show a shocked expression. I got up and ran after him. I got to his room, i could hear him crying, and I gently opened the door he looked up at me, man! He looked rough! I could tell he wasn't coping well, but it wasn't looking up.

I sat next to him, we both just stared down at the floor. I moved my hand over to his, our fingers locked together as we both looked up to each other, i wiped his tears away and kissed his cheek.

" Please stay strong hun,"

"But i don't know how, it's not fair," he cried. I placed my hand on his face, my thumb stroked his ear.

"They're trying to cheer you up babe, they don't want to hurt you, and we all love you. Maybe a party isn't such a bad idea, we haven't spoken to bob or ray for weeks. They're probably wondering how you're doing. And of course don't forget, bob lost someone he loved not too long ago too, we need to still be there for him."

"Okay, i guess you're right, you know, i hate the fact that you're always right! It really sucks sometimes!" he said, a smile lit up his face, he made it almost impossible not to smile back, i hugged him tight.

Still holding hands we both walked back down to the kitchen. Everyone stared at us with blank expressions, not knowing what to expect.

"Don't we have some phone calls to make guys?" i said as cheerfully as i possibly could.

I picked up the phone and dialled bob's number

*hey bob*

*hey Evie*

*long time no speak, how do ya fancy coming round for a social gathering?*

*urm i think I'm gonna give it a miss, sorry guys*

*oh no bob, why?*

*i was actually gonna give you a ring, i wanted to say goodbye to you lot*

*why? Where are you going?*

*somewhere happy*

*Disney land?*

*no, somewhere special, with Velene actually*

*what?*

*goodbye Evie, i love you, i love all of you, please just make me a promise*

*eh?*

*don't cry, and don't miss me, I'll be happy*

*you what? You're not making any sense bob*

*sorry, goodbye*

*bob?*

*beeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

I put the phone down, then something clicked, suicide? No, he wouldn't, would he?

"Guys, we need to go to bb's house, like now!"

"What? Why" gee asked

"Cuz he wants to fucking kill himself!"

"What?"

"Look just go!" i yelled. Me, gee and mason ran out to the car.

_____________________________10 minutes later________________________________________

We got to bob's house, it seemed solitary and deserted. We ran to the front door but it was locked. Gee picked up a rock and threw it through the window *is it weird that i found that really hot?* we all climbed through the window, being careful of any glass sticking out.

We got to bobs room but he wasn't in there, we split up and ran through the house, i got to the dining room to find an overturned chair and bob hanging from the ceiling, he had hanged himself, i screamed for gee and Meelix rang for an ambulance. I burst into tears. Gee tried to lift bob up but it didn't work. I got a knife and cut the rope. Gee caught bob and lay him down on the floor. Within 10 minutes an ambulance crew arrived, they tried everything, but he was pronounced dead.

I held onto gee. I didn't want to let go. I definitely didn't want to party now!


	24. Chapter 24

Bandit's smile could make anyone's heart warm up, and it could sure put a smile on anyone's face. Meelix and Frank we're properly going out, bob, Mikey and Velene were dead, me and Gee cry ourselves to sleep at night, Mason couldn't feel more lonely, Ray broke up with Mel, and life was pretty fucking awkward.

Bandit had moved in with me and Gee after Ray and Mel broke up, and everyone had been living in our house for the last few weeks, no one went in the shed anymore. We all just sat in silence thinking about...well...anything really.

A summary of the last month, short, boring, lifeless. Need i say more?

It was 4:00 am and i couldn't sleep, i kept having nightmares, and Gee was starting to get worried about me. I didn't want him to worry about me though, not after all we've been through, and he didn't need any more worries.

I was getting frustrated at the fact i couldn't sleep, so i slowly got out of bed as quietly as i could and crept down the hall. I thought I'd go for a walk, no one would notice that I'd gone at 4 in the morning, I'd be back by sunrise, it will all be fine, i thought to myself.

I didn't take my normal route, i decided to explore the rest of the town for a change, i wondered down a road, there were loads of fairly modern houses, but one in particular took my eye, it was pretty big and it had massive blue windows and a stunning doorway out the front, it had a spotless path going from the front door to the gate and a white fence surrounding it. It looked like something from a movie, where some happy family would live.

I crossed the road and sat on a bench opposite the house; i stared at the house and continued to imagine what kind of people would live there. There would be a beautiful house wife, and a working handsome husband, maybe 2 of 3 kids who would play out in the drive or on the lush green lawn. The mum would bake cakes and cookies for the kids and the dad would come home from work and play with the kids and help them with their homework.

What a fucking perfect life that would be, but no one has that life. I soon nodded off on the bench, and fell into a deep sleep, i dreamt of the house again, and the family, but this time it wasn't just any old man and woman, it was frank and Meelix, they had 2 lovely kids, a boy and a girl, and they were the perfect family who loved in this house.

When i woke up it was a bright sunny day, and i noticed the for sale sign outside the house, i hadn't noticed it last night, i rubbed my eyes and looked around. Then i thought to myself, shit, what was the time, i reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone 9:49. Oh crap, i got up and sprinted back down the road, desperately trying to remember the way home. But in the back of my head i was still thinking about my dream, maybe frank and Meelix could buy the house, maybe it was a sign, i didn't know, all i knew was that i was absolutely legging it back home.

When i got there, Gee was stood in the doorway with his arms folded, looking far from happy.

"I'm so sorry, i couldn't sleep so i went for a walk then i fell asleep on this bench and i..."

I was cut off by gee grabbing me and practically sucking my face off.

I pulled away desperately.

"What the fuck is this about?" i asked, trying to catch my breath.

"We're getting bandit tomorrow!"

"What?"

"I'm serious, i got a phone call from the social workers and they said we can take her off ray's hands tomorrow"

"But, you said you weren't ready to have her back!"

"But then i realised something amazing!" he said with a beaming smile.

"What?" i asked

"I've got you, with you, I'm ready for anything!" he said. I bit my lip, oh crap, i wanted to kiss him so badly right now.

I couldn't hold it in much longer; i just jumped forward and kissed him. After i had gotten over the excitement, of being a step-mum to bandit, i began to think a bit more. I mean, are we REALLY ready for this, we've had a rough last couple of months. Could we cope with something this big?

Bandit was now almost 2 and she was talking a lot, such a bright kid, just like her daddy, and her mummy, god bless her dead mummy, she would never know her real mother, the thought of how tough bandits life would be was killing me inside. I was so happy with Gee, but i always felt for Lyn-z. I felt guilty inside, at the thought that i had replaced her, but seeing Gee's face, wait, Gee's HAPPY face, just made me fall in love with him again and again. I love him and Lyn-z is dead, he's over her, and he loves me back. I had to force myself to believe this but there was something in the back of my mind telling me that Lyn-z still had a big part of his heart.


	25. Chapter 25

I told Meelix and frank the good news, and i told them about the house, a week later, they had an estate agent to take them to see the house, they absolutely loved it, just the sight of the house made them fall more in love with each other, it was so amazing seeing them together. They decided to buy the house and a few weeks later they were ready to move in.

Me and Gee had had bandit for just over a month now, we were coping quite well and bandit was stunning, she had started calling me mummy, it took a bit of getting used to, and to be honest i still had that guilty feeling inside me, but there was no way that i could let her down, if she wanted me as her mum, then her mum i was going to be!

It was a sunny Friday afternoon, me, mason, gee and ray were helping Meelix and frank move in to their new home. It was quite sad for her to be moving out of the shed, but this house is beautiful.

It was good to get them out of the house though; it would be easier for them to move on if they lived somewhere else, even if it was only a walk away. And no doubt they would be practically living in our house anyway, with all the parties, movie nights and general afternoons that we all spend gathered at our house. It sure was home to a lot of missed memories, and hopefully there were more to come.

FRANK P.O.V

New day, new home, new found love for life that was all I could say. Gerard and Evie had gotten bandit back and they were just the perfect couple and the perfect parents. I and Meelix had a new home. I still couldn't get over the loss of three great people, but i hoped they were in a better place. There was nothing i could do, so now i had to move on, with the girl i love, Meelix.

As we loaded the last few things into the van, i wiped my face, put my hands on my hips and let out a slight "thank god". But then i remembered it was only a short drive and we would have to unload it all again. Ahhh crap!

When we got to the house, i felt a beam of pride. I could say that this was my house now, all mine! I let out a slight evil laugh, a sense of concern came from the others as they gazed over to me.

Evie held bandit in her arms as she ran inside the beautiful house with Meelix and Mason. Whilst me, Ray and Gee started unloading our belongings, this was a job for real men.. as i watched the love of my life run into the house Gee did the same, we both sighed and turned around, not watching what we were doing we bumped into eachother and both fell backwards.

"ahh shit sorry Frankie, wasn't concentrating" Gee said to me, i held my hand out as he helped me to stand up, i looked into his eyes and for a few short seconds i fell into a trance. I quickly snapped out of it and brushed myself off.

"neither was I," i said still gazing slightly, "you have really pretty eyes" i said, in quite possibly the campest voice i had ever heard.

"WHAT THE FUCK MAN?" Gee yelled.

Oh shit, okay, gay moment over, i looked around for Meelix but she had disappeared into the house, there was an awkward silence between me and Gee. Until i realise that Ray had just witnessed the whole thing and was now stood to my right speechlessly staring at me.

I scrawled around picking up the things i dropped and quickly ran into the house after my beloved.

GERARD P.O.V

I watched as Evie ran into the house with Bandit, she seemed like more of a big sister to her rather than a step-mother but that didn't worry me. I turned with my box not noticing Frankie there was a crash and before i knew it we were both on the ground.

I felt bad for Frankie, being short and all, he's not the sturdiest of people, i helped him up and apologized for knocking him down, he seemed to stare at me, maybe he hit his head on something, he slowly got up and he opened his mouth

"you have really pretty eyes" he said, he'd never sounded more gay in his life, he must have hit his head on something, i looked around to see what it could have been before choking out the words, "WHAT THE FUCK MAN?" okay, maybe i was a bit harsh, if I'm honest, his compliment made me blush but it was getting way past awkward now so we both scrambled around to pick things up and continue with the task at hand.

I tried real hard to ignore the gob-smacked Ray who was stood infront of me at this point looking more than confused by Frankie's comment. I picked up a few more things and followed Frankie into the house.

EVIE P.O.V

As me and Meelix discussed decoration and furniture, the men were unpacking, i could feel a very strong sense of awkwardness between the three of them, but it didn't concern me, i just giggled.

Bandit was in her pram having a nap while the rest of us decided to make some coffee, i saw Gee yawn so walked over to him to give him a hug, i drank my coffee and started playing with Gee's hair. Gee sat next to me with his head on my chest, probably asleep, Frankie was lying on the floor staring up and the 'pretty patterns' on the ceiling while Ray and Meelix were having pretend slow-motion Ninja fights with cutlery.

The loss of our friends had hit us all and caused a wound that we could not cure or recover from, but in this new house we all felt like moving on, being happy, and never, ever forgetting them.


End file.
